Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 7

Episode: I Wonder If This Is Going to Make My Fingers Pickle Original Air Date: October 29, 2006 "Booketing" - our word of the day. Kentucky Couple David and Mary, due to either dumb luck or maneuvering by the producers, are in first place at the beginning of this leg of the race. Their first assignment is to fly to Mauritius, an island nation off the coast of Africa that apparently none of the teams can pronounce correctly. Once at the airport, David says authoritatively, "We need to find Booketing." Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to ridicule these two, yet at the same time not wanting to look stupid myself, I looked up the word "booketing" on Dictionary.com. There were no results. Then I Googled it. Besides asking me helpfully, "Did you mean booking?", Google displayed only three results - two in Romanian and one in Russian. Then I remembered my trusty copy of Merriem-Webster Hillbilly to English Pocket Dictionary. It had this entry: "book‧et‧ing [bk' et ing] - n. that there place in one of them there airports what you buy your tickets at" Now you know. David and Mary booket a flight to Mauritius from Kuwait via London. They should arrive in Mauritius after 6am the next day. Because the flight doesn't leave until after 8am, the other teams all have plenty of time to booket seats on the same plane. Once the Doublemint Twins reach the Booketing Counter, they are told by the Booketing Agent about the connecting flight in London. "What country is that in?" the girls ask. Then, they have the nerve to say that the guys behind the counter are "not the brightest bulbs." I guess they should know. The Single Moms from Alabama end up in line at the counter right behind the Doublemint Twins. Some time thereafter, the Pretty Boys show up. Wanting to stick it to the Single Moms, one of the Doublemint Twins tells the agent that the Pretty Boys are with her and she wants to book tickets for them. Because this moves the Pretty Boys ahead of them in line, Single Mom Karlyn is not happy, and gets in the faces of both the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys. She even gets on to the poor Booketing Agent. A big argument erupts. For crying out loud, people, you're all going to be on the same plane. Once at Mauritius, the teams are to find a boat named "Isla Mauritius" and swim out to it to get there next set of instructions. Mary admits to some trepidation about swimming out to a boat because she's afraid of fish. That's right, fish. She shouldn't worry, though. Once the fish catch sight of her in her swimsuit, they will be much more afraid of her than she is of them. To get to the port, the teams will need to drive cars that have been provided for them. At this point the Kentucky Couple/Single Moms/Brainiacs alliance (now calling themselves "The Six Pack") is tighter than ever. In fact, in the airport parking lot on the way to their car, Mary tells Dave that they have to wait for the rest of the Six Pack before they can leave, which makes no sense at all. However the Single Moms have already left, reasoning that 'at least one of [the Six Pack] teams should be in the lead' and that 'there's no sense in all three teams being behind everyone else.' How noble. All of the teams arrive at the port at about the same time, except for the Pretty Boys, who get lost on the way and arrive just as the last two teams are swimming back from the boat. The Brainiacs are the first of the Six Pack to make it back to shore, but against all reason decide to wait for the other two teams before they leave for their next destination. Pretty Boys Tyler and James surmise that the Brainiac Cho brothers have formed the alliance with two "weaker teams" so as to eliminate three "stronger teams", thereby leaving the two weaker teams as their only competition on the final leg of the race. This strategy makes perfect sense to Tyler and James, mainly because they are evil. But I don't think that is how the Brainiacs think (though I have to admit that's not a bad strategy). Once back on shore, the teams are able to read their instructions, which tell them they must make their way to a certain post office. Instead of trying to find the post office themselves, Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly decide to follow the Doublemint Twins (a case of the Blonde leading the Blind). This annoys the Doublemint Twins, and they manage to lose the Bickering Couple. Later, after stopping at a traffic light, Rob is unable to get his car back in gear. Because this is a minor annoyance, Rob and Kimberly have no choice but to yell at each other about it. Kimberly tells Rob to stop yelling at her and 'just do this'. Rob responds maturely by throwing a hissy fit. "No, you do it," he yells, then storms out of the car declaring, "I'm done." Meanwhile, while gloating to each other about how nice it is to be in first place, the Doublemint Twins rear-end a stopped van. They wait for the cops to arrive, sign the appropriate paperwork, and still manage to be the first team to reach the post office. The Bickering Couple, on the other hand, are still having trouble getting their car into gear. As a result, almost all of the other teams pass them. The show's rules say that if a team's vehicle is broken down or becomes inoperable, a replacement vehicle will be provided for them. This is what happens for Rob and Kimberly, but not in time to keep them from being second-to-last just in front of the Pretty Boys, who are once again lost. All of the teams arrive at the post office (Doublemint Twins first, Pretty Boys last) and receive instructions for their next challenge, which is a Detour (a choice between two tasks). In this Detour, they can choose between "Salt" (searching through three giant piles of salt for a salt shaker which contains their next clue) and "Sail" (choosing a boat captain, having that boat captain take them to an island where they must search for a mast and sail, take that mast and sail back to the boat so the captain can attach it and sail them back to shore where they will receive their next clue). Since it could take hours upon hours to search through giant piles of salt, "Sail" is the obvious choice here, right? Yet inexplicably, the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys are the only teams to see this, while everyone else chooses "Salt". Sure enough, this task is just as tedious as it sounds. In a particularly cruel twist, the teams discover that pepper shakers, which contain no clue, have also been placed in the salt piles. Rob worries if digging through the salt will "pickle his fingers". After searching without results for what appears to be a long time, all of the teams besides the Kentucky Couple decide to give up and try the other challenge. The Doublemint Twins are already on the island searching for the sail and mast, and are way ahead of everyone else at this point. However, they are also getting frustrated and even consider quitting and trying the other challenge. Because getting lost had put them so far behind, the Pretty Boys reach the boat dock just ahead of the Bickering Couple, which was the first team to leave the salt piles. Back at the salt piles, Mary is yelling at Dave, "We're going to be the stupid couple who stays here all night and winds up gettin' elimintated!" At this point, they know that at least three, possibly four of the other teams could not have finished the other challenge yet. If they stay and keep looking for the salt shaker they at least have a chance of finishing ahead of some of the other teams. But if they quit and go to the other challenge, they will certainly be in last place. So, logically, they quit and leave for the other challenge. Something tells me these two first met at a family reunion, if you get my drift. The Doublemint Twins are the first to find the sail and mast, but because they took so long looking for those items, don't even make it back to shore before last place Kentucky Couple are in their boat on the way to the island. The Bickering Couple, then the Pretty Boys are the next to find their sails and masts, leaving the entire Six Pack in the rear. Hence, the Pretty Boys kindly dub the alliance with a new name, the "Back Pack". The teams receive their instructions and find out that they are to drive directly from the challenge to the Pit Stop, which is located at a certain chateau. The Doublemint Twins are the first to arrive. Phil tells them they have each won scooters. He points out that the scooters seat two, so they can take a date. Dustin asks, "Can we take you, Phil?" "Um..." he responds. I think what Phil meant to say was, "Sorry, but I have standards." En route to the Pit Stop, the Six Pack are once again closely following one another. The Brainiacs and the Single Moms decide that once they park at the chateau, they will race for the mat. Mary of the Kentucky Couple, however says that once they park she intends to "wait for the 'Bama Girls." I don't think Mary is rolling on all four tires. At one point, the Kentucky Couple get separated from the rest and take a wrong turn. The other two teams arrive around the same time and race for the mat. The Brainiacs get there ahead of the Single Moms from Alabama. David and Mary finally find their way back to the chateau and are the last to arrive at the Pit Stop. Phil informs them that this, like the last leg that David and Mary lost, is not an elimination leg, so they will be spared elimination on this round. At once, every viewer at home can be heard to yell, "Oh, come on!" There are only two non-elimination rounds in this contest, and they both happen to be the rounds that David and Mary lose. It could not be more obvious that this race is just a little rigged. It's ok, though. Without the Kentucky Couple, this season would be far less entertaining. Next week - The teams come up against a Yield, forcing one of the Six Pack teams to work with the Doublemint Twins.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 6

Episode: Maybe Steven Segal Will See Me and Want Me to Be In One of His Movies Original Air Date: October 22, 2006 Our episode this week begins with the teams receiving their instructions from Phil via video on cell phones that are left for them in their instruction envelopes. Phil tells them they are to find a travel agency, book a flight to Kuwait City, Kuwait and locate Kuwait Towers (the Kuwaitis are not big on thinking up new names for things). But Phil doesn't tell them the name of Kuwait Towers, but only shows them a picture of what the towers look like. Phil then ends the message with, "This cell phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds." No wait, wrong show. Peter and Sarah, who were in first place on the last leg of the race, are the first to leave. Humbly, Peter tells us, "On our worst day we are still better than some of the teams that are in the back." Well, maybe Sarah is, anyway. Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice are second to leave. Kandice reflects on their place near the lead, "I don't think anyone wants to be beaten by a couple of blonde girls." Yeah, well, Kandice, if you find any actual blonde girls, let us know. It's only the sixth episode, and the old brown roots are already beginning to show. Once at a travel agency, Peter tells the agent, "We need help urgently! It's a medical emergency for her leg!" Then Peter lifts poor Sarah's leg up so the agent can see it. The agent doesn't seem impressed. The Doublemint Twins arrive at a different agency and tell their agent, "Just tell them it's Miss California and Miss New York that need seats on the plane." The agent laughs in disbelief. "We really are!" All of this is for nothing as, once again, all of the teams ultimately end up on the same flight to Kuwait. Even last place Kentucky Couple David and Mary, who leave the Pit Stop five hours after Peter and Sarah, manage to catch the same flight. These two were the last to arrive at the Pit Stop during the last episode. Since it was a non-elimination leg of the race, instead of being eliminated, they were given a 30-minute penalty. In other words, if they are not the first to arrive at the next Pit Stop, they will have to arrive at least 30 minutes before the last team to arrive in order to avoid elimination. The Brainiacs, the Single Moms, and the Kentucky Couple are still in an alliance. One can't help but notice that these teams are also behind everyone else. Talk about the blind leading the rednecks. But holding true to the alliance, the Braniac Brothers help the Kentucky Couple at the travel agency, telling the agent, "Give them the same tickets, everything." All of the teams arrive in Kuwait City at the same time the next day. All the teams also seem to have figured out that the picture they've been given is of Kuwait Towers. On the way to the towers, Pretty Boy James asks Tyler, "So, they got a lot of oil out here?" I guess you don't need to be smart to be a model. However it begs the question, why would people almost completely ignorant of any country other than the U.S. want to go on a race around the world? The Amazing Race often seems to have contestants who probably couldn't locate Canada on a map of North America, even if they were given three guesses. The producers probably purposely look for ignoramuses when choosing contestants for the show, "Hey, this guy thinks that South America is part of the Unites States. Let's get him!" Meanwhile, Dustin, or maybe it's Kandice (does it matter?), reflects on her dad fighting in Kuwait. Suddenly, I feel very old. Once at Kuwait Towers, which don't open until 11am (in case you ever feel like visiting), the teams find small key chains with numbers waiting for them. Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys are the first and second teams to arrive and snag numbers 1 and 2. The Doublemint Twins are next to arrive, followed closely by Peter and Bionic Sarah. Peter quickly runs past the Doublemint Twins to pick up number 3. The Doublemint Twins are not pleased. "Peter and Sarah got number 3. That is so annoying." Of course, the Doublemint Twins would never do anything like cut in front of someone else. The Kuwait Towers open for business and the teams find out that in addition to the Road Block (a challenge that only one team member may perform), a Fast Forward challenge is available. The first team to complete a Fast Forward will be able to skip the rest of the leg and go directly to the next Pit Stop. The gamble is that if a team chooses to go for the Fast Forward, but is not the first to complete it, they have to come back and complete the Road Block, possibly resulting in a lot of lost time. Both the Fast Forward and the Road Block on this episode seem almost suicidal. The Fast Forward involves putting on a flame-retardant suit and running around a simulated oil field fire while trying to find the next clue. The Road Block entails climbing up the ladder that goes up around the top globe of the Kuwait Towers (which reaches over 400 feet above sea level) to retrieve puzzle pieces. Once assembled, the puzzle will tell the teams the name of the street where they will find their next clue. This Road Block requires a lot of climbing, so logically Peter decides his one-legged girlfriend should do it. Meanwhile, last place David and Mary are trying to decide if they should try the Fast Forward. Gee, we're in last place and marked for elimination. We're barely hanging in this race by a thread, do you think we should take this short cut that would put us in first place? It's such a hard decision! I wonder if it's just coincidence that this Fast Forward comes just as the Kentucky Couple need it. The Doublemint Twins have already decided to try the Fast Forward. In an effort to buy the Kentucky Couple time, however, the Brainiac Brothers Erwin and Godwin bluff Dustin and Kandice into thinking that they are going to try the Fast Forward, too. Not wanting to risk losing time, the Doublemint Twins change their mind(s) and decide to do the Road Block instead. In the mean time, the Kentucky Couple finally get a clue and decide to try the Fast Forward. The Brainiac Brothers send them ahead and go back to do the Road Block. This selfless move puts the Brainiac Brothers in second-to-last place at this point in the race. What makes this act even more selfless is that both Erwin and Godwin are deathly afraid of heights. But since they're skipping the Fast Forward, one of them will have to do a Spider-Man routine on the outside of this skyscraper. While driving on the streets of Kuwait trying to find the oil field, Mary offers her usual words of encouragement to David, "You're goin' the complete opposite!" "Well you got a map," David yells back, "tell me where to go!" They stop to ask someone for directions. This person happens to have a car. "Can I foller you?" David asks. Evidently, the Kuwaiti man understands what it means for someone to "foller" him, and agrees. As David is walking back to the car, Mary can be heard yelling, "David, come on! We ain't got all day!" At this point, David's only hope is to sell Mary to a rich sheik. Back at Kuwait Towers, Kimberly and Tyler have both ascended the outside ladder and retrieved the puzzle pieces. Bionic Sarah is next. While waiting, the other teams are whispering about how wrong it was for Peter to make Sarah do this challenge. Even Dustin/Kimberly (I've given up trying to tell them apart) sheds her usual nastiness and says encouragingly, "There you go, Sarah. Good job, Babe." Surpringly, Sarah has an easy time with this part of the task. Confronting his fear of heights, Erwin also climbs the ladder without incident. Meanwhile, David and Mary are getting suited up to face the oil field fire. Mary says she's afraid, but "maybe Steven Segal will see me and want me to be in one of his movies!" Maybe, if he's making a movie set in a circus. By the way, this is the fourth episode out of six named for something Mary said. This is why the producers must keep the Kentucky Couple in the race. Otherwise, how will they name the episodes? David and Mary complete this task and are given instructions to drive to the next Pit Stop. Let's see if they can manage this without screwing it up. Back at Kuwait Towers, the teams are working on their puzzles. The Pretty Boys finish first while the Brainiacs finish last. Everyone takes their puzzles, which contain a name written in Arabic, and ask for directions. The name is a name of a street where the teams must locate a bead shop. The shopkeeper in the bead shop will have instructions for their next Detour. The Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn get directions from a Kuwaiti man and then tell him not to help the Doublemint Twins who are following close behind. As one of the Doublemint Twins comes running up trying to ask the man for directions, one of the Single Moms starts pushing him along, saying, "Go, go, go. Do not help her." The man actually obeys and refuses to help the Doublemint Twins. Another man standing close by offers to help and even jumps into the car with the Doublemint Twins. Afterward, Dustin/Kandice complains about the Single Moms telling the Kuwaiti man not to help her. "The 'sistas' are being pigs right now," she says. I guess you're only allowed to fight dirty if you're pretty. The Brainiac Brothers are the last to finish their puzzle. They ask a policeman in a patrol car for directions. The cop agrees to lead them in his car and even turns on his flashing lights while escorting them to their destination. Pretty Boys Tyler and James are the first to find the bead shop and read the instructions for their Detour (a choice between two tasks). This time, the Detour is a choice between "Manual" and "Automatic". In "Manual" the teams must load feed bags with camel feed, carry them 100 yards, and stack them correctly on a pallet. In "Automatic", the teams must go to a camel race track and attach a robotic jockey to a camel. The robot jockeys are controlled by a voice-activated remote control and are designed to lightly whip the camels. By using this remote-control, the teams must make their camel run a certain length around the track. (This is just as weird as it sounds.) The Pretty Boys choose "Manual". Everyone else get lost trying to find the bead store. Meanwhile, David and Mary make it to the Pit Stop and avoid the 30-minute penalty. Their prize for being first is an all-expense paid trip to a resort in Jamaica. Good for them. Mary tells Phil they owe it all to the Cho Brothers (Brainiacs). Hopefully for the Brainiacs, this good deed will go unpunished. Eventually, the remaining teams find the bead store. Peter and Bionic Sarah are the second to find it. When they pass the Brainiacs, however, Peter acts like they don't know where the store is and tells them that he has to go move his car because it's parked illegally. In contrast, once the Brainiac Brothers find the store, they tell the Single Moms where it is. Rob and Kimberly, the Doublemint Twins, and the Brainiac Brothers reach the "Manual" challenge site and finish the challenge in that order. In the mean time, the Single Moms, who were dead last, find the camel race track and finish their challenge. The Doublemint Twins are the first to make it to the Pit Stop, putting them in 2nd place. Both the Pretty Boys and Peter and Bionic Sarah lose their lead by getting completely lost in the desert. While the Pretty Boys are driving circles around Kuwait City, Peter believes they've found the camel race track when they see an Amazing Race arrow. Unfortunately, they discover they've found themselves at the Fast Forward site. After driving around some more, they end up back at Kuwait Towers. Peter decides to stop for directions. Meanwhile, the Pretty Boys stumble upon the camel race track and finish their challenge. Peter and Sarah don't find their destination until after dark. Even Phil looks tired like he's been waiting on that mat all night for them to show up. After telling Peter and Sarah that they have been eliminated, he asks them about the status of their relationship. Talk about rubbing salt in an open wound. They both agree that they should just stay "good friends", but not continue to date. Well, that means at least one good thing has come out of this entire ordeal for Sarah. Next week - The Single Moms and the Doublemint Twins feud at a ticket counter, the Doublemint Twins get into a traffic accident.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 5

Episode: I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh! Original Air Date: October 15, 2006 In this week's episode, the teams must catch a train from Hai Fong to Hanoi where they will try to catch a flight to Chennai, India. Oddly enough, it is illegal in Vietnam to buy airline tickets at a ticket counter in an airport, so the teams must find a travel agency before they can purchase their tickets. At least they'll be able to bring their toothpaste on the plane. As each of the teams leave the pit stop by taxi, we are treated to more deeply moving, heart-warming, painfully candid confessionals - or, as I like to call them, "filler". Rob and Kimberly (1st to leave) - Rob tells us that the Amazing Race is a metaphor for two people having a life together, and that he and Kimberly just need to "chill out". In this metaphor, what part of marriage does Phil Koegan symbolize? Peter and Bionic Sarah - Sarah tells us her feelings for Peter have changed. She doesn't hold him on a pedestal anymore. By the time the race is over, she'll probably view him as the dirt underneath the pedestal. Pretty Boys Tyler and James - Once again, James reminds us that he and Tyler are recovering addicts and that will give them strength to draw from to win this race. Will someone please give these two a medal for kicking their drug habits? Maybe then they'll shut up about it. James goes on to explain that the hardest thing about the race is that the contestants often feel powerless. He and Tyler have felt real powerlessness in dealing with their addictions, so that gives them an edge over the other contestants. Well, whatever "edge" they have, it sure isn't their brains. In an attempt to explain to the cab driver that they need to be taken to the train station, one of the boys draws a picture of a train. As this drawing is of such quality that any kindergartener's mother would be embarrassed to hang it on her refridgerator, it is not of much help. Kentucky Couple David and Mary - Dave tells us this is his chance to get out the coal mines and to take care of his kids. If he wins the million dollars, he can take his kids "to Disneyland, take 'em to the Grand Canyon, put 'em on an airplane." Hey, everyone needs to have dreams. Of course, there are other teams still in the race, but their personal and intimate thoughts are not interesting enough to waste air time on, let alone write about. The teams race furiously to the train station, which, surprise surprise, doesn't open until later (5 am), so all the teams end up on the same train. I think if I weren't blogging about this show, I'd just stop tuning in until fifteen minutes after it starts. That would give me more precious bathroom or sandwich-making time and I wouldn't miss anything. On the train, one of the Pretty Boys spots a man shooting up on the side of the railroad tracks. Since it had been a good five minutes since the last time these guys brought up their past drug use, this seems like a good opportunity to start this topic anew, "My drug use started when I was 15, just after my dad..." I don't care! Meanwhile, a loose alliance has formed between the Braniacs, the Single Moms, and the Kentucky Couple. In response, Bionic Sarah's boyfriend Peter tries to form an alliance with the Doublemint Twins. What is up with forming alliances on the Amazing Race? In the history of the show, has this strategy helped anyone? It's a race, for crying out loud! One would think the show's title would give this away. In order to mess with Peter's mind, one of the Braniacs pulls out a fake cell phone and pretends to book "the fastest flight" to Chennai. After seeing Peter get up to tell the Doublemint twins, the Braniacs and their allies have a big laugh at his expense. But their joke seems to backfire as it prompts Peter to borrow a real cell phone and get in touch with an actual travel agency. As a result, he and Sarah and the Doublemint Twins are the first to reach a travel agency and book flights once they arrive in Hanoi. This advantage is soon lost, however, when the Braniacs and a few of the other teams manage to book a flight that is scheduled to arrive in Chennai over an hour and a half earlier. Mary, of the Kentucky Couple, repeatedly asks her ticket agent if the flight she is being sold is the absolute fastest to Chennai. After receiving a number of assurances, she asks the man, "If somebody beats me there, what are you gonna do about it?" I don't think I'd want to get on Mary's bad side. Of course, that's assuming she has a good one. In any event, she and David land the flight that is supposed to arrive in Chennai at noon the next day, in other words, the later flight - unbeknownst to her. At the airport, the teams compare notes. Realizing they have the later flight, the Kentucky Couple and the Single Moms decide to race back to a travel agency to book the earlier flight. They manage to book flights to Delhi, where the connecting flight would depart from, but are only able to reserve, not book, seats on the flight from Delhi to Chennai. So, they have no guarantee that once they get to Delhi they'll be on that connecting flight Chennai. Upon hearing about David's and Mary's failure to get guaranteed seats on the plane out of Delhi, Peter and Bionic Sarah and the Doublemint Twins decide to take a chance and keep the flight plans they already have. This pays off for them. During a stopover in Bangkok, both teams are able to book earlier connecting flights that would put them in Chennai at 7:45am, an hour and twenty-five minutes before any of the other teams. While at the booking counter, Peter is disappointed to find the Doublemint Twins trying to book a flight without telling him. Yes, how shocking it is that Doublemint Twins would act this way. After all, these girls have played so honorably and unselfishly up till now. Incidentally, while in the Bangkok airport, we see Peter running from ticket counter to ticket counter while poor Sarah with the malfunctioning leg is pushing their luggage around in a cart while trying to keep up with him. Win or lose, as these two are standing in front of Phil, I hope Sarah dumps this loser on national television. It would be nice if she said something really humiliating to Peter, too, like, "... and all that hair on your back - not sexy!" Meanwhile, the other teams reach Delhi. The Kentucky Couple and the Single Moms still need to book seats on the flight to Chennai. Lyn and Karlyn are able to book the last available seats, leaving David and Mary in Delhi. David and Mary are later able to book a flight that will arrive in Chennai at 10 am. As scheduled, the Doublemint Twins and Peter and Bionic Sarah are the first to arrive in Chennai. Their next instructions are to find a bus station and take a bus 40 miles to some town with way too many letters in its name. The Doublemint Twins' taxi driver seems to know exactly the way to the bus station, as opposed to Peter's and Bionic Sarah's cabbie, who isn't entirely sure. As the cabs pass each other on the street, the Doublemint Twins' cabbie tries to yell some directions over to the other team's driver. One of the Doublemint Twins actually reach around and puts her hand over the poor guy's mouth. If I were that cabbie, I'd have to stop and wash my face. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, the Indian caste system categorizes foreigners as "Untouchables". That means this guy will probably have to do some ritual wrist slashing or set his own hair on fire or something (My knowledge of the Indian caste system gets a little sketchy in that area). Of course, none of that matters to Dustin and Candice, who would probably make their cabbie run over an orphan if they thought it would help them gain five minutes on the other teams. The Doublemint Twins manage to get on a bus that leaves a few minutes ahead of Peter and Bionic Sarah and are the first to arrive in the town with the long-winded name ("Mamallapuram" for those of you keeping track of this sort of thing). Once there, the teams must locate a specific arts and crafts store to receive their next clue. The Doublemint Twins are the first to find the store, but it doesn't matter since it doesn't open for another 30 minutes. Peter and Sarah arrive before then. Meanwhile, the Kentucky Couple arrive in Chennai at 10 am, putting them in last place at this point. Not aware of the two leading teams' earlier flight, David and Mary are comfortable in the knowledge that the Doublemint Twins and Peter and Bionic Sarah weren't originally scheduled to arrive until noon. Yeah, those Doublemint Twins and Peter and Sarah should be way behind! Ha ha, the fools! The arts and crafts store opens and the first two teams receive their clues to a "Detour" (a choice between two tasks). This week, the choice is between "Wild Things" (helping wrangle a crocodile) and "Wild Rice" (painting a complicated design with colored rice on the floor of a temple). Both of the leading teams choose "Wild Thing". Peter is already starting to whine, "This is going to be a long day." One of the Doublemint Twins has a concern about wrangling a crocodile, "I hope we don't have to, like, touch it's snout." So the snouts of strange taxi drivers are ok to touch, but not a crocodile's. At least the girls have their standards. In the mean time, the other teams are trying to reach the bus station. The Pretty Boys' cab driver gets lost and needs to stop and wander around on foot until he finds someone who can give him directions. Finally he's able to get directions and gets back into the cab. Why don't these taxi drivers know their way to the bus station? It's not like it's some obscure building hidden somewhere in town. One would think that's the first place they would learn after the airport and train station. On the other hand, it's reassuring in a way to know that Indian cabbies in America would probably be just as lost in their own country as they are over here. The Doublemint Twins are initially in the lead on the way to the crocodile ranch, but fall into 2nd place when their cab gets a flat tire. Peter and Bionic Sarah, who are all out of love for Candice and Dustin, tell their cabbie not to stop to help the other driver. At the croc ranch, Sarah once again is unable to hobble on her broken artificial leg fast enough for Peter, who keeps telling her to hurry up. They find their croc, and commence to wrangling, which consists of tying rubber bands around its snout while a couple of other guys sit on the critter. Peter is still barking instructions to Sarah, "Pull it tight, like your hair! No! Don't twist it!" Unfortunately, the crocodile does not reach around and bite Peter's arm off. Next, they help the wranglers lift the croc on to a stretcher, tie it down, and carry it to another pond. The Doublemint Twins arrive as they are finishing up. Peter and Sarah run to catch the next bus back to Chennai, but end up missing it. While they're waiting for the next bus, Sarah confronts Peter about telling her to run faster when he knows she can't. He responds that he's not asking her to go faster. Will somebody please rewind the tape so this guy can watch it? Sarah tells Peter she is not having fun with him. Wow, he seems like such a fun guy, too. The Doublemint Twins finish up and arrive at the bus stop to wait with the loving couple. They all end up on the same bus back to Chennai. Back in Chennai, the Brainiacs, Single Moms, and the Bickering Couple (Rob and Kimberly) arrive at the arts and crafts store and receive instructions for their Detour. The Braniacs and the Single Moms decide on "Wild Rice", while Rob and Kimberly decide on the crocodile wrangling. On the way to the ranch, Kimberly notices a cow standing in the street and asks Rob, "Is it a homeless cow?" In the course of painting their designs, the Braniacs and the Single Moms decide that "Wild Rice" will take too long. They leave to do the crocodile wrangling instead. Rob and Kimberly arrive at the croc ranch and finish way before these two teams. But because the busses only run once every 30 minutes, all three teams end up on the same bus back to Chennai. The Pretty Boys arrive at the arts and crafts store and decide to do "Wild Rice". Later, the Kentucky Couple arrive and also decide on "Wild Rice". Mary wastes no time griping at her husband once they start the challenge, "David, look at you making a mess!" In the course of this tedious task, David complains about Mary's choice for this Detour. "This is one of your pickings," he says. Mary shoots back, "What in the world would make you think that I would want to go wrestle a crocodile?" Meanwhile, Peter and Sarah and the Doublemint Twins have arrived back in Chennai. Peter and Sarah are the first to find the location of their next "Roadblock" (a task that only one team member may perform). In this case, their task is to obtain an Indian driver's license. They must sit through a Driver's Education course and then take a road test. Since this task requires no physical exertion or scaling rock cliffs, Peter, who has two good legs, volunteers. The Driver's Education class is held outdoors and is led by an instructor who looks like an Indian old Elvis, complete with dark glasses and poofy hair. He instructs Peter on the nuances of driving in India, including how to make hand signals for turning and demonstrates the proper way to honk a horn when there are small children or animals in the road. Peter passes the written exam and moves on to the road test on the streets of Chennai. As Peter drives, the instructor, who looks very frightened, yells, "Be careful! Watch out for the bus! Don't drive crazy!" Peter passes, however, and finishes this Roadblock before the Doublemint Twins arrive. Apparently, the only qualification for passing the road test for an Indian driver's license is that you don't hit a cow. From this point, the team must drive their driving school car 10 miles to the Chettinad House, which is the location of the next Pit Stop. Peter and Sarah are the first to arrive and win a complete home gym set, which seems perfect for these two. One of the Doublemint Twins takes her road test and is told by the instructor in the course of the exam, "You can not just drive the car like that!" It looks to me like the instructor has to shift gears for her. They are the second to arrive at the Pit Stop. Meanwhile, Tyler and James believe they've finished with the "Wild Rice" challenge, but are told they did it incorrectly, so they have to go back and finish their mistakes. Rob and Kimberly arrive at the training school. During the Driver's Education class, Indian Elvis tells Rob, "You must not drink and drive!" "Drink what?" Rob asks. Tyler and James finish painting their design and move on. David and Mary are still plugging away, at the challenge and each other. "I ain't goin' to put up with you sayin', 'I cain't do it! I cain't do it!' no more!" Mary snaps. "We coulda got two crocodiles by now," David answers. Finally they finish the task and leave the temple. "You gotta hurry," Mary tells Dave. "I know, Mary!" David and Mary don't arrive at the Driving School until after dark, long after everyone else has made it to the Pit Stop. Mary tells us she's proud of Dave, who's "strong and he's stubborn. He doesn't want to quit. I love him now more than I did the first day of this race." I'd be afraid to see how she treats someone she hates, or even just has a passing regard for, for that matter. These two are the last to make it to the Pit Stop. Fortunately for them, this is a non-elimination leg of the race. Also, they will get to keep their money and possessions, unlike in past seasons. However, they will be operating under a 30 minute penalty unless they finish in 1st place on the next leg. In other words, they must either finish in first place next time, or over 30 minutes ahead of the last team. This makes me wonder if the producers wait to see who is about to lose before they decide a certain leg is a "non-elimination" round. The Kentucky Couple are by far the most entertaining team in this race. It would certainly benefit the show to rig the race just a little to keep them in a bit longer. Next week - Friction between the Single Moms and Doublemint Twins, and camel racing!

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 4

Episode: I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing! Original Air Date: October 8, 2006 At the beginning of this episode, we find out that Rob (of the Bickering Couple) had collapsed of heat exhaustion at the end of the last challenge and had received medical attention. He was then "deemed fit enough to continue". He must have strained himself with all that yelling at Kimberly. The teams' first assignment is to run to a table where the old Master from the Kung Fu TV show is waiting (or maybe the man just looks like the old Master) to give them their "Dong". That's not nearly as gross as it sounds - the Dong is the Vietnamese currency. The teams are then to proceed by taxi back to Hanoi for their first challenge. The Brainiacs, Erwin and Godwin, are the first to leave since they were the first to arrive at the Pit Stop at the end of the last challenge. Erwin tells us how as Asian Americans, he and Godwin have a big responsibility on this race to show all sides of Asian Americans. And really, what better way is there to represent one's race to the world than going on a realty show? It's not as if anyone is ever cast in an unflattering light on one of these shows. Pretty Boys Tyler and James can't resist commenting on the Dong once they're in the taxi. "I want to see how much Dong you got," one of them says. Then, about the taxi driver, the other one says, "He's honking for Dong." Uh, heh, heh. Beavis, you said "Dong". On this day, Kentucky couple David and Mary are once again dressed identically, with matching denim shorts and t-shirts. How cute. There's nothing like a man being dressed exactly like his spouse that says, "My wife dressed me," or, "I've completely given up on retaining any of my dignity." Mary, who describes herself as a "couch potato" and is dealing with a sprained ankle at this point says she doesn't know how she and David are still in the race. "I'm doin' it for my kids," she concludes. She probably means that all the ridicule her kids will receive from their schoolmates once this show airs will somehow be good for them. As the teams progress in their taxis to their designation in Hanoi, the Braniacs lose their lead as their cabbie takes them in the wrong direction. They eventually have to stop and ask for directions. Once at the designation, the teams are supposed to "listen" for their next clue. It turns out there is a loud speaker set up on a corner that booms out directions to the teams' next designation. The Doublemint Twins are not the first to figure this out (surprise) as one of them stops to listen to crickets, thinking their chirping may contain the next clue. I swear, I am not making this up. Later, Rob and Kimberly drop all the way to last place due to the fact that their cabbie speaks absolutely no English. That's good for the cabbie, who doesn't have to listen to all of Rob's insults. After circling the same location a couple of times, Rob and Kimberly stop the cab and find another one. "I'm done talking to foreigners," says Rob. How fortunate for the rest of the world. Some of the other teams start to have similar trouble with their cabbies, but all arrive at the bus station, where of course they will have to wait because the first bus doesn't leave until five. All of the teams end up on the same bus. So once again, all of the previous drama was pretty much for nothing. Their next designation is Hao Long Bay, where they find their next "Roadblock" (a challenge that only one team member may do). Their next challenge is to scale the side of a huge rock mass using rope ascenders. Only three teams can do this challenge at a time as there are only three rope ascenders. The written clue for this challenge doesn't tell all of those details, but does say specifically that whichever team member does this challenge should have "strong arms and legs". Not getting the hint, Bionic Sarah with the malfunctioning artificial leg says, "I'll do it!" In order to get to the rock face, each team much catch a different speedboat. The Doublemint Twins cut in line and hop aboard a boat meant for Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn. I think they learned to do that in charm school. In an act of poetic justice, one of the Doublemint Twins cuts her leg while jumping on to the boat. Repeating what probably most of the viewers are thinking, one of the Single Moms says, "She got what she deserved." At the rock face, Sarah is waiting for her turn on the rope. Peter, still in the boat, is once again doing his annoying cheerleader routine, "You can do it, Sarah! It's all in the mind!" At one point, Sarah has to shut Peter up so she can listen to instructions the guide is giving her. As Single Mom Karlyn is scaling her way up the rock, Lyn yells up, "Take your time! If you can have a baby with no anestesia, you can go up this rock!" The Bickering Couple, Rob and Kimberly are the first to finish this Roadblock and move on to the next location. The rest of the contestants, including Bionic Sarah, manage to finish this task as well, with the Doublemint Twins in last place. The teams must proceed from here to a cave where they will have to search for their next clue. No one seems to have any trouble finding the clue, which states that the next challenge is a "Detour" (a choice between two tasks). In this case, the teams must choose between "Over" - loading produce into a small rowboat and delivering the produce to the proper addresses in a floating village, and "Under" - rowing to an oyster farm and harvesting 30 buckets of oysters attached to buoys. Kentucky Dave chooses "Over" because he's afraid of deep water. Dave's a coal miner, which means on a daily basis he works miles under ground in pitch black darkness while worrying about developing Black Lung. Yet, he's afraid of deep water. But his wife Mary agrees, "We're from Kentucky. We ain't never been in no real ocean. If the water's over your head, you're dead." Poetry to live by. Once on the rowboat, Rob and Kimberly start yelling at each other even more than usual. If there were ever a couple in need of Dr. Phil's help, it's these two. But I don't know if they could stop yelling at each other long enough for Dr. Phil to yell at them. The challenge progresses, and apparently most of the teams can't figure out that rowing a small rowboat is a one-man job. It is hilarious to watch these people row in circles while yelling at each other: "No! Your oar has to go down! No! DOWN!" "We're going around in circles! You must be doing something wrong!" Peter and Sarah are one of maybe three teams to figure out the complicated workings of two oars and a boat, while some of the other teams end up rowing to the wrong locations. While Peter rows, Sarah has now taken the role of cheerleader, "You can do it, Peter. You're doing fine." Peter actually tells Sarah to be quiet. "I need you to not be talking right now. I need to concentrate." I wonder if Sarah was doing that on purpose. No, I hope she was doing that on purpose. Rob and Kimberly, who chose the oyster farming, finish first, and arrive at the Pit Stop way ahead of everyone else. As a result, Phil tells them that they have each won a jet ski. It's a good thing they'll each have their own jet ski, since they'll probably be doing a lot of things seperately after this show. Meanwhile, Peter starts to complain while pulling up oyster buckets, "I am done after this. I want to quit." The man just watched his one-legged girlfriend scale a rock cliff and he wants to whine about pulling up a few oysters. It's too bad there's no way Sarah can win this season of Amazing Race while Peter loses at the same time. They need to make a new rule. In spite of all the whining, Peter and Sarah finish second. Pretty Boys Tyler and James would've finished second, but the boat they were taking to the Pit Stop seemed to be moving very slowly for some reason. It turns out the crew of the boat forgot to raise the anchor when they took off. The Pretty Boys finish third. It comes down between the Doublemint Twins and the Obligatory Gay Couple in the race for last place. Though Dustin and Kandice arrive at the oyster farm long after Tom and Terry, finish harvesting the oysters first. Unfortunately, they can't figure out the rest of their written clue, which is now badly torn. Tom and Terry finally finish harvesting the oysters, but can't row their boat to save their lives. Out of desperation, Tom jumps out of the rowboat and starts trying to pull it across the bay to the larger boat (called a "junk"), which will take them to the Pit Stop. Back on their seperate junks, both teams cry the whole way to the Pit Stop. The Doublemint Twins arrive first, far ahead of Tom and Terry. Tom and Terry are eliminated. Next week - Alligator hunting and Sarah gripes at Peter.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 3

Episode: Oh, Wow! It's Like One of Those Things You See on TV! Original Air Date: October 1, 2006 At the beginning of this week's episode, the teams are told to fly from Mongolia to Hanoi, Vietnam. Once in Hanoi, they are to make their way by taxi to the site of the "Hanoi Hilton", a famous prison where American POWs were held and tortured during the Vietnam War. How fun! The teams will not be given any money for this leg of the journey. Peter and Mary are the first to leave, since they were the first to complete their challenge the night before. But it really doesn't matter, since the ticket counter for the airline they must use doesn't open until 9am, and all the teams end up on the same flight anyway. As each team leaves via jeep for the ticket office, we are once again treated to "personal" moments in which contestants share with the rest of us their thoughts and feelings. As the sharing goes on, I begin to realize that nothing bores me more than these people's thoughts and feelings. Duke (about his gay daughter Lauren): "I don't think anything will change Lauren's sexuality. If anything's gonna change, it's me... Don't care! Tom (regarding his relationship with Terry): "We both are very independent. We've only known each other two years..." Really, really don't care! Kimberly: "If Rob chooses to say hurtful things to me, we're going to have to have a serious talk..." Talk to the hand, Kimberly! Kentucky Coal Miner David muses wistfully while driving to the ticket office: "I've always follered my Dad's footsteps. He was in the service in Vietnam..." Write a Country song about it. Sheesh! Mercifully, David's wife Mary interrupts. "Everybody's passin' you!" she yells. "Mary, I'm doin' 60!" "We're losin' this race and I'm gonna git angry!" "Mary..." "Uh, uh, no! Don't you 'Mary' me!" These two could have their own reality show. The ticket office opens and the teams form a line to see the ticket agents. The Obligatory Gay Couple aren't paying attention and fail to notice a ticket agent become available when it is their turn. The Doublemint Twins (known to their fellow competitors as The Barbies) take advantage of this opportunity and book their flight. This ticks off The Obligatory Gay Couple who occuse the The Doublemint Twins of cutting in line. "They won't win any beauty contest of kindness," Tom says. Ooooh, good one, Tom! Being on the same flight, all of the teams reach Hanoi at the same time. Duke thinks he's being swift when he convinces a young local woman to ride in their cab with him and Lauren. He thinks having someone who 'knows the language' will be a real advantage. They get off to a great start as the local girl makes them wait for her before they take off. Half-way there, Duke asks the woman if she's sure they're going the right way. "He take me my brother," she eloquently explains, "then he take you hotel." I almost fall out of my chair laughing. Along the way, the teams are slowed down by a truck that has turned over in the middle of the road. The Doublemint Twins think the smart thing to do is to get out and look at the accident. They are then taken by surprise as the other teams pass them. Duke and Lauren realize they won't have enough money to pay the cabbie. "We'll be fine," Duke tells Lauren. "Yeah," she replies, "when we're arrested for not having enough money." At the end of the ride, the cabbie is nice enough to accept $11.00, which is all they have. Once at the Hanoi Hilton, the teams are told they are supposed to find Sen. John McCain's flight suit. Once they find the suit, they'll get their new instructions. They are then to make their way to Hang Ma market. At Hang Ma Market, they are to perform a "Roadblock" (a challenge only one team member can perform). Their challenge is to sell flowers from a bicycle. Peter is the first to sell enough Flowers as he seems to be a hit with the ladies. Sarah believes they love his blonde hair. They find out they are next supposed to make their way by bus to a certain village. However, Peter and Lauren lose their early lead by taking the wrong bus. They go from first place to last when they manage to catch the last bus going to the village. Brainiacs Erwin and Godwin are the first to reach the village and receive instructions for their "Detour" (a choice between two tasks). In this case, the choice is between "Fuel" or "Fowl". In "Fuel", the task is to build a bunch of coal bricks. In "Fowl", the task is to build a bird cage. The Brainiacs choose "Fuel". All the locals gather around to watch and laugh at them. As David and Mary arrive at the village, a ceremonial dance with a paper dragon is taking place. "Oh, wow!" Mary exclaims, "It's like one of those things you see on TV!" Peter and Bionic Sarah are the last to arrive. Peter tells Sarah she needs to hobble faster on her malfunctioning artificial leg. Duke and Lauren get lost trying to find the "Fuel" site, so they end up being the only team to do the "Fowl" task, which seems to take a long time. Meanwhile, the Brainiacs are the first to finish their task and make it to the "Roadblock". The Obligatory Gay Couple are the second to make it there, but they are penalized because they broke a safety rule which says the contestants are not allowed to ride a motorcycle while in Vietnam. It just so happens that they hitched a ride with a couple of guys on motorbikes for a brief leg of the trip to the village. They are penalized 30 minutes. The Pretty Boys supplant them as the second place team. Even though Peter and Bionic Sarah are the last to arrive in the village, they manage to be the fifth team to arrive at the roadblock, during the 30 minute penalty. Phil turns to the Obligatory Gay Couple, "This has got to suck for you guys." The tension mounts as all but one of teams arrive during the 30 minute penalty. But Phil finally calls Tom and Terry over and announces that they are team number 8, the second to last team. Terry starts to cry. Duke and Lauren are the last to arrive and are eliminated. Next week - Sarah gets angry at Peter because he wants to quit yet another challenge. Rob and Kimberly yell at each other some more.