Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 13

Episode 13 Original Air Date: February 21, 2007 Is it just me, or does Simon's wardrobe choice seem rather limited? Does he even own a shirt with buttons? Tonight we see the initial results of the biggest, most shameless popularity contest on the planet. The top 12 men performed Tuesday. The women performed Wednesday. Tonight we get to see the results of America's vote, which will most likely have little to do with who is the most talented. The show opens, of course, with a review of the previous two episodes. This is important, because the last episode ended all of 23 hours ago. We could have forgotten something crucial, like what color long-sleeve sweater-shirt Simon wore. Next we find out the answer to the question, "What would happen if the Partridge Family and the Brady kids all sang the same song together?" The answer is, it would sound a lot like all 24 top contestants performing "Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Simply Red. Why the producers believe we are interested in these group sing-a-longs is beyond me. Maybe they're just trying to figure out how to fill up an hour of television. The first man eliminated is Barefoot Paul (who is wearing shoes tonight). "How do feel, buddy?" Ryan asks him. "It hurts, man. It hurts." "Great! Now sing for us!" I've never understood this part of the show. Why do they force these poor people to sing right after their dreams have been crushed? You've just been humiliated on national television and in front of your family and friends who are in the audience - now perform for us, you trained monkey! Furthermore, why would we want to watch an hour of television filled with performances by losers? Wouldn't make more sense to have encore performances from the most popular contestants? Amy is the first woman eliminated. Simon tells her the problem is that she just doesn't stand out. She sings another mediocre performance of "I Can't Make You Love Me," by Bonnie Raitt. What happens next may be described as possibly the only reason to tune in to this episode. Fantasia Barrino appears to perform "I'm Here" and does a great job. She also announces that she will be starring in the Broadway musical "Color Purple". Nicole is the next woman to be eliminated. She doesn't seem too bummed. In fact, she appears to be pretty jazzed. I wonder what she's like when something nice happens to her. She sings her goodbye song with gusto. Rudy is the second man eliminated. Randy, Paula, and Simon need something to do, so Ryan asks them for advice on Rudy's behalf. Simon says he "can't turn an ok singer into a good singer". Paula says she thinks Rudy was one of the better vocalists in the competition, it's just too bad "most people didn't get him". He goes out with a bang with a spirited performance of "Free Ride". Next week - More of the same!

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 12

This is the second of three nights this week that American Idol is on. The network has decided on the strategy of "we have a really popular show, so let's air it so much that people get sick of it!" Tonight the women will be singing. One thing that stands out is that nearly all the women are taller than Ryan. I swear, he looks like Tatoo from Fantasy Island next to most of these girls. Stephanie Edwards Her voice is great tonight. But not only does she sing, she performs. She engages the audience through her entire song, dropping to her knees at one point. She receives lots of love from all three of the judges. Simon tells her that her performance was "a million times better" than any of the men's performances last night. Amy Krebs She does an adequate job with "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Amy Grant. Randy says it's "a middle-of-the road performance" and "too safe". Paula agrees. Simon says he still can't remember her from her original audition, and that she "has the personality of a candle" when she sings. According to Simon, even her hair and clothes are forgettable. "This from the fashion disaster himself," replies Ryan. Leslie Hunt Leslie chooses "You Make Me Feel" by Arethra Franklin. She doesn't have a naturally pleasant voice, but sings with a lot of spirt. Randy says her performance was "just ok". Paula says she did a "great performance", but she needs to be careful which songs she performs. Simon says she looks "embarassed and ungainly" when she performs. Sabrina Sloan She knocks it out of the park. Randy says Sabrina is "the one to beat". Simon says her performance is "the best one so far". Antonella Barba She sings an Aerosmith song, but doesn't sound like she belongs in the same competition with Stephanie and Sabrina. Randy says it was a bad performance. Paula says it wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. She's being generous. Simon says the song was "too big" for her, like "Ryan doing the news". Jordin Sparks She starts off a little weak performing a Tracy Chapman song, but ends up belting it out. Randy says she has a big voice, and needs to pick bigger songs. Paula tells her to "go for it". Simon tells her to push herself. But over all, the judges love her. Nicole Tranquillo Nicole is all over the place vocally with an Erykah Badu song. Randy says "it wasn't workin'" for him, and the choice of song was "too urban" (read:"black") for her. But Paula was impressed just because of the notes Nicole was able to hit. Simon said her performance looked "fake". Haley Scarnato She doesn't do too bad of a job with "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion. Randy says it "was just ok" because she "didn't do anything special" with it. Paula said she did "a good job". Simon says the 24 year old sounded like she was 40. Melinda Doolittle Melinda would make Arethra Franklin proud with her rendition of "Since You Been Gone". Randy says she "blew it out the box", and evidently that's a good thing. Paula says she's "a firecracker" and a "frontrunner". Simon says he's seen a lot of people come out the past couple of nights with very little talent and a lot of confindence, but Melinda is just the opposite. Incidentally, Melinda is the only contestant so far tonight that isn't taller than Ryan. Alaina Alexander She sounds a little off-key. Randy says "the song was ok", but she didn't do anything special. Paula says she didn't make the song her own. Simon says the applause made her think she was better than she was, and that she's "pretty much relying" on her looks right now. Ryan innocently asks the judges what she needs to work on, since she was going to give up singing if she didn't get on American Idol. Simon accuses him of trying to date her. Gina Glocksen She does a great job. Randy loved it, and praises her "big voice". Paula loved it as well. Simon says she didn't quite hit the "big note". But the two judges who have actually sung professionally never mentioned that. Lakisha Jones Lakisha puts out a powerful performance. "I love you!" Randy says. Paula tells her, "This is where you belong." "That is the right note," Simon says, "I'm tempted to tell 23 other contestants to pack their bags right now." Pretty darn good for a bank teller. She also happens to be the only other contestant who is shorter than Ryan. Tomorrow night - Fantasia Barrino

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 11

Episode 11 Original Air Date: February 20, 2007 Sorry. I accidentally deleted this episode from my DVR before I got a chance to watch it. But the buzz on TV and the web is that the men weren't very good last night anyway. Besides, three dang nights in one week is too dang much anyway!

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 10 (The Top 24)

Episode 10 - The Top 24 Are Chosen Original Air Date: February 14, 2007 Forty contestants are left, but ony 24 will survive the end of this episode. That means sixteen will be eliminated (that's just in case you're too lazy to do the Math yourself). The contestants are made to sit in a holding room while they wait to be called one by one to take the elevator ride up to the judge's room. The whole episode will consist of contestants going to that room, sitting down, and hearing the verdict. Of course, the judges could've just eliminated 36 people instead of 20 last night, or they could just tell all sixteen losers at once that they're out. But then FOX wouldn't be able milk another night of advertising revenue out of this show, now would they? Another thing I don't like about this episode is that the judges feel some psychopathic need to be cute when they tell the winners they get to go on to the next round. For every single winner, the judges use a variation of one of these comments: "I'm sorry to tell you .... [long pause] ... [takes a swig of whatever alcoholic beverage is contained in the red cup]... [picks something out of teeth] ... [checks breath and pops a Tic Tac in mouth]... that you're going to be seeing a lot more of us." "We've decided that you're not... excluded from the next round." "I have to tell you now that you haven't... failed to make it to the next round." For the Love of Goober, make it stop! It's not cute anymore. It was never clever. And besides, these people have been waiting all day in the little room. Do you really need to stretch out their suspense anymore? Highlights Sanjaya, who was separated from his sister last round, makes it. Extremely tall Anna "the Giraffe" doesn't. She does get an apology from Simon for the giraffe comment, though. Melinda, background singer, makes it. "There's a reason people are background singers," Simon tells her, "Usually it's because you're not as good as the other singers. So you may be surprised to learn... you're good enough to be at the front of the stage... You're no longer a backup singer." Simon even comes out from behind the table to hug her. Regina Glockson, been training for last two years like Rocky and was booted off last season. Paula tells her she's made it. "Shut up!" she says. Philip Stacy, who missed the birth of his daughter to audition for American Idol, makes it. Chris Sligh, everyone's favorite funny guy, walks in to the judge's room and says, "You guys are probably wondering why I called this meeting today." He makes it. Beat Boxer Blake is another member of Chris' super boy band that blew the roof of during the group rounds. He makes it, too. Thomas Lowe and Rudy Cardenas are the other two members of the boy band. Rudy makes it, Thomas doesn't. Paul Kim has decided to go barefoot each and every time he makes the sho. He also wears the same pair of underwear, his "lucky drawers", on every cut day. He makes it, smelly undies and all. Alaina Alexander looks as if she is about to have a nervous breakdown. She doesn't want to sit at first when she faces the judges, but she finally does. She makes it. She tearfully promises to take their criticism and apply it, then blubbers, "Anything you can tell me...?" "Yes," Simon says, "Blow your nose." Antonella, one of the "best friends", makes it. Sundance Head makes it. Thomas Daniels, who slept on the street behind trash cans so he would make it to his first audition, doesn't make it. He makes sure to flip off the camera in the elevator. Referring to Thomas' size, Sundance says, "If I do make it, I'll make you my bodyguard." Now that's a real sensitive thing to say. Next week - It's up to YOU, America!

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 9 (First Hollywood Episode)

Episode: The Hollywood Round Original Air Date: February 13, 2007 Hollywood! Swimming pools, movie stars... No wait, that's Beverly Hills. Nevermind. Don't expect this recap to be a blow-by-blow of every single contestant's performance. The Hollywood episode doesn't really lend itself to that. Here are the highlights: Solo Rounds The Women Jory Steinberg is the first contestant from the first group of six to perform. She tells the judges she wants to be the next American Idol so she can dress like Paula. Lo and behold, she and Paula are both dressed in a grey vest over a white blouse and black pants. I would go into more detail, but after reading my detailed wardrobe descriptions in previous posts, some of my family and friends are beginning to doubt my manliness. After the first six contestants are finished performing they line up on stage in front of the judges. Simon tells them, "You are all going home. None of you are any good. The auditions were terrible." At least Simon is working on his efficiency. This way, he gets to be snarky and cruel to six people at once. Among the second group of women are crazy Colombian hottie Perla Meneses and G I Jane Rachel Jenkins, whose husband is serving in Bagdad. Perla sings "Hips Don't Lie" for the judges, which is the song Randy made her sing during her first audition when the first song failed to impress. After the second group of six finish and are lined up on stage, the judges tell four of the group, including Rachel to step forward. Perla is standing in the back. Simon tells them that the girls in the back are going to the next round. Perla makes it, Rachel is out. But Simon warns Perla that this round she made it because she's "personality over talent". She's going to have to step it up on the next round. Others who make it through are country girls Baylie Brown and Jamie Lynn Ward. Baylie is a 16 year old from a little town that just isn't big enough for her. Jamie Lynn is a 17 year old who has had to grow up pretty fast. During her first audition in Birmingham, Jamie told that heartbreaking story about her dad shooting her stepmom and then himself after catching her stepmom cheating on him. Now she has to help her elderly grandmother take care of him. Is this American Idol, or Maury? Nicole Turner is the last contestant of the day. She and her mom have spent the whole day in the hallway arguing about which song she should sing. Her mom wants her to sing "There Ain't No Way", but Nicole doesn't want to. Nicole finally gets on stage and sings "There Ain't No Way", but she's not "feelin' it". The judges send her home. Back out in the hallway as she's crying on her mom's shoulders, Nicole blames her failure on the choice of the song. Mom feels guilty, but she knows what she has to do for her baby. She takes her cane and hobbles up on stage to face the judges. She tries to explain that it's her fault that Nicole didn't do her best. Nicole joins her mom on stage and says she couldn't really show her talent with that song. Ever the horse's hiney, Simon yells, "It's not the song!" "Don't shout at me," Nicole says. Simon gets up and walks off while Paula and Randy try to pick up the pieces and let Nicole down gently. When Simon comes back, Paula tells him what a butt pimple he was to Nicole. Randy makes everyone in the audience give a big round of applause to Nicole and her mom. The Men (and I use that term loosely) Navy Sailor Eric Fowler and Matt Sato, who has to win American Idol to make his mommy love him, are among the second group of men to audition. Eric doesn't make it, but Matt does. Afterward, Matt calls his Mom so they can re-enact the very same scene that occurred after his first audition in Minneapolis. He cries, he gives her the good news, she tells him she's proud of him, he cries, he tells him she loves him, he cries. "She never tells me she loves me," he tells us. Then he cries. Hey, man, save the drama for your... oh, sorry. Other notables who made it through - funny guy Chris Sligh, former Idol dropout Nick Pedro, Phil Stacey, who missed the birth of his daughter to audition, and homeless weirdo Sean Michel. Altogether, 92 contestants make it through. Group Rounds Oedipus, I mean Matt Sato, is having trouble finding a group that wants him. He is the last person to be matched with anyone. More crying. Country girl Bailey teams up with Amanda and Antonella. Amanda and Antonella were best friends before they auditioned for American Idol. They might be fortunate to make it through this as acquaintenances who can barely tolerate each other. They spend the rest of the day in the theater arguing about which song to perform the next day. More arguments ensue once they get to the hotel. About 3:30am, Amanda is tired of rehearsing and abandons her group to go flirt with some of the boy contestants. Meanwhile, Perla's group is getting frustrated with her. It seems she can't harmonize. That's kind of important when you're performing with other people. As the group tryouts begin, Simon tells the contestants "Do not forget the words." He sticks to his guns. Several people who forget their lyrics get booted. That includes Matt Sato. He calls his mom again, but this time to deliver bad news. "I'm coming home, Mom," he says, "I forgot my words." "What?" she yells, "Don't bother to come home! You are such a disappointment! You've shamed me, and you've shamed our entire family! I don't have a son anymore! You're dead to me! Do you hear? Dead!!" ...actually, I don't know what she said. They cut that part out. But I'm willing to bet there was some crying on Matt's part. Perla proves to be the weakest link in her group and is the only member booted. Sundance Head performs with two talented teenage girls, who seriously outperform him. He even forgets his lyrics. But Paula announces that the girls will be going home while Sundance will get to stay. Simon turns to Paula afterward and tells her she was "really generous" with Sundance. Even Sundance sees the travesty. "I am not an example to anyone trying out for American Idol," he says. Funny guy Chris Sligh, beat boxer Blake Lewis, and two other really talented guys form a super boy band and rock the house. Blake even does some beat boxing while the rest harmonize. All four of them get to go through to the next round. Bailey, Amanda, and Antonella are rehearsing in the restroom. Bailey can't remember her lyrics. She asks the other girls for help, but Antonella says that every time she tries to help Bailey, she messes up. Amanda cusses as a producer leans her head in and tells them they're wanted on stage. Once on stage, Bailey forgets nearly all of her lyrics. As a result, Bailey is booted while Amanda and Antonella are passed along. Bailey confronts the other two outside and accuses Amanda of flirting with boys when they could've been rehearsing. Amanda later proudly tells us that she and Antonella "are not here to flirt with boys. We could get all the boys we want back home. This is a job interview." Cut to last night's scene of Amanda flirting with one of the boy groups. Other notable casualty from this round: crazy homeless guy Sean Michel. The Final (Sort of) Cut There are about 60 contestants left. That's 20 too many. Simon, Paula, and Randy pour over their notes and photos of the contestants to discuss who should go. Back at the hotel, the contestants are divided into three groups of 20, with each group in a separate room. Two of the rooms are filled with contestants who will make it until tomorrow. The contestants in the other room will get the ax. The judges visit the first room. Paula starts to speak, "It's been an interesting road. A lot of things have happened..." For the love of God, Paula, get on with it! "Congratulations," she tells them. Chris Sligh is among the jubilant contestants in this room. Randy speaks in the second room. "I should probably just put you out of your misery right now, right?" he asks, then adds, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're going to be seeing a lot more of us." Sundance Head is amongst the contestants in this room. The contestants in the third room don't need to hear the bad news. They can hear the celebration going on in the other two rooms. Among the casualties is Amanda, who will have to be content to root for her friend Antonella. Brother and sister team Shuyamali and Sunjaya Malakar are also split up. Sunjaya is among the chosen, but is not happy once he finds out his sister won't be joining him. He runs down to the lobby to hug her goodbye as she leaves. It's really hard on both of them. Other notable casualty: Jamie Lynn Ward. Tomorrow - 36 more people are axed.

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 8

Episode: "The Rest of the Best" Original Air Date: February 7, 2007 In a sadistic effort to prolong our agony and postpone the Hollywood portion of the season, American Idol has decided to take previously unseen footage from it's seven-city audition tour and create a "Rest of the Best" episode. It can also be called, "All The Stuff That Wasn't Interesting Enough to Be In the First Seven Episides" episode. The Contestants Christa Fazzino, 19. Christa says she dresses according to her mood. I wonder if she feels nauseous today, because that's how looking at her outfit makes me feel. I'm not sure a written description could do her clothes justice, but she comes to the audition wearing a veil over a black pill box hat that looks more like a headband because the top has been taken out, a shoulderless but collared black top with an odd red design down the middle of the stomach, a red feather boa, a black elbow-length opera glove on one arm, a white elbow-length opera glove on the other, grey and white checkered knee-length capris, and red heels. Her singing is almost as bad as her wardrobe. She doesn't make it through. Tami Gosnell, a cabbie from Chicago. She sings "Whipping Post" and does a pretty good job. All the judges love her, and she's going to Hollywood. Paul Kim. Paul is a young Asian guy who isn't happy that when asked to name an Asian singer, most people would think "William Hung". Fortunately for Asian people everywhere, Paul knocks it out of the park during his audition. He's going to Hollywood. Jack O'Danovich. Jack tries to recreate Bo Bice's American Idol a capella performance, but sounds more like someone in bad need of Morphine. Gina Glocksen. Gina has tried out before. She's in love with Simon, so maybe she's stalking him by trying out repeatedly. She sings "Black Velvet" and impresses the judges. Simon actually lets her hug him. She's going to Hollywood. Edward Sanchez. Edward loves Paula. When Simon asks him why he came, he says "to see Paula", and tells her the camera doesn't do her beauty justice. Paula gets up and gives him a kiss and a hug. He sings "Donna" terribly. But he's not upset. He's still buzzed about getting kissed and hugged by Paula. Heather Rennie, Ashley Cleland, Ebony Jointer. Three roller-skating waitresses who come in to the Audition Room together on their roller skates and uniforms. Heather and Ashley do well, but Ebony makes them both look mediocre by comparison. Heather is out, Ashley and Ebony are going to Hollywood. William Emil Samland III, or W.E.S. for short. Wes is working on an album. He writes, creates, and performs music. He hideously performs one of his songs for the judges, accompanied by an odd, stomping, clap-dance. He'll have to finish his album without the help of Idol. Alexander Nazaro. Alexander has to start off his audition by showing off a couple of his dance moves. He tells Paula he learned how to dance by watching her. He sings his song in a weird falsetto. Randy tells him he belongs in a theme park. It's a unanymous "no" from the judges, but Paula gets up to hug him and Randy shakes his hand. Lakisha Jones. She sings "Think" by Aretha Franklin and kills it. All the judges love her and vote to pass her along to Hollywood. Next week - Hollywood!

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 7

Episode 7 Original Air Date: February 6, 2007 San Antonio. If tonight's audition is typical, it will prove that all the losers from here didn't die defending the Alamo. Simon arrives late again. This time jetlag is to blame. He had to fly all the way in from London, so this is like night time for him. Does this mean he won't have his usual pleasant demeanor? Brian Kyrish. This Chunky believes himself to be a breakdancer. He demonstrates his talent for us before his audition. He's got moves, with his frame he looks like he's going to hurt himself. Brian tells the judges he won a Mock American Idol contest in his home town. He sings "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol for the judges. "It was a lot of shouting without a lot of melody," Simon remarks. He's not going to Hollywood. After Brian leaves the room, Simon muses on that mock American Idol contest, "I wonder what the person in last place sounded like." Haley Scarnato. The tabloids are right. Paula has been acting like she's been on drugs during these auditions. When Haley comes in, Paula, out of nowhere, calls her over so she can shake her hand. The she asks Haley if she got dress at "Hoochie Mama's". It probably makes sense to Paula. Haley sings "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. Paula liked, Randy thought it was "OK". Simon says it was "not unique" but reluctantly votes yes. So does Randy. Jasmine Holland. Paula asks her to "tell us a little bit about yourself". But she's too shy to respond. She didn't think she was good to audition, but her mom convinced her to come. She should've listened to her instincts. She sings like a sick cat. She's rejected by all three judges and seems to take it in stride, until she makes it out to the hallway. Jasmine [in hallway] - "Simon's not even American, so how he gonna judge what American..." Mom - "Simon needs to go back to... where he from, France?" Ryan - "He's British." Mom - "He needs to go back to British and be a judge for British people. How can he tell who can sing and who not sing?" Jasmine - "And Randy looks like some fat slob like he just got up and put on anything." Baylie Brown, 16. She lives on a ranch near the tiny town of Krum, population approximately 1500. She calls herself "a city girl stuck in a small town". She walks in and sings a Faith Hill song. She has a good voice, but her performance is all over the place. Simon says she "doesn't have a great voice", but likes her because she's "commercial". She's going to Hollywood. William Green and Akron Watson. Cousins who live together. Akron took William in when he was 14, which appears to have been a while ago. Akron tells us that he and William are like Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk, because they are so different. Both are unemployed and have no income, so they're counting on this. Hey, Bruce Banner was unemployed for a while, too! William goes in first. He sings "Amazing Grace" off-key and very sloooowly. All three judges reject him, but he knows he came in knowing he's not good enough. He tells the judges he just came for his cousin, so he has to pretend he's angry he didn't make it. So as he walks out the door, he turns around and yells, "Don't make me come back in there and tell y'all again! I'm a good singer!" Akron comes in right after his cousin and sings "A Change Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. He has a really good voice, but Simon says he has a "massive charisma problem". "I was bored," he says. Paula liked it, but Akron is still bummed that Simon is bored. So Paula tells him to stop wasting time talking and do something that makes Simon not bored. He sings another song and manages to change Simon's mind. He's going to Hollywood. Sandi Chavez. She sang for the mayor of Houston, who evidently is easily impressed. She sings "Black Velvet" for the judges, and sounds like she's throwing up in slow motion. The whole song is completely inarticulate. Simon says it was "like some strange language I've never heard before. Was that serious?" That last remark makes her burst into tears. Paula and Randy feel sorry for her and try to let her down gently. But souless Simon is not moved and keeps being snarky. Ashlyn Carr, 18. She says she was beaten up in school for having a good voice, even getting a concussion in the process. Sings "Feelin' Good" by Nina Simone. She has a really good voice, but Paula and Randy say no, because she sings with a bunch of "weird facial expressions". As she leaves, Simon tells Ashlyn he would've said "yes". Once she's gone, Simon tells the other judges they made a mistake. Realizing they've just rejected someone for what has to be the stupidest reason in the history of American Idol, Paula and Randy tell the producers to go find Ashlyn and bring her back. They have to chase Ashlyn and her family down outside the stadium. She comes back and sings "Inseperable", still with the odd facial expressions. Simon says she's got bad habits, but she's too unique to pass up. Randy and Paula agree. She's going to Hollywood. Jacob Tutor. Jake says he comes from a long line of entertainers. Judging from his looks, all of those entertainers were related, and not just by marriage. He sings a really dark song, and very poorly. He takes the rejection while in the Audition Room, but out in the hallway, he makes sure to cuss out each judge by name. "But do you like me?" Ryan asks. Jimmy McNeal. "Cupid". He does a very good job. Simon says, "You're like a little fun Reuben, aren't you?" All three judges love him. He's going to Hollywood. Tomorrow - Last audition show. All of the auditions that weren't interesting enough to be shown before! Woo hoo!