Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 6

Episode 6 Original Air Date: February 18, 2007 Arrow is waiting in their loser Tent City squalor waiting to see who returns. Everyone is annoyed by Surya, so Stefani proposes putting him on the line for the next challenge by making him Project Manager. Surya is still whining about Aaron as he and Nicole return from the Boardroom. He's got a psychotic, wild-eyed expression on his face as proclaims to everyone how upset he is. It's hard to tell, as Tim says, if he "wants to hit someone, or cry." He says he "has to be PM tomorrow". That's fine with Stefani, who gives him a hug. Wow. Let the backstabbing begin. Trump has everyone meet him at the airport in front of the Trump-Plane. He has to leave on business for the day, and he just can't be bothered to meet with these people at the house. It's important that they all watch him fly away on his jet. He tells the candidates that their next challenge is to design a marketing campaign and run a mall kiosk for Priceline.com. The team that gets the most people to sign up for the Priceline.com sweepstakes wins. With The Donald today are two execs from Priceline - no Ivanka, no Little Donald, no Bill, no Sean, nobody. Are we to believe there isn't a single apron-string-riding offspring or butt-kissing-former-apprentice available today? The teams depart for their separate malls. Wait, Los Angeles has two malls? It must be a decent size place. Aimee is busy on the van ride over delegating to the rest of Kinetic. Unfortunately, she doesn't understand the laws of physics which dictate that one person can not be in two places at once. Kristine is further frustrated because while Aimee double-books some team members, she leaves others with only half a day's worth of work. Arrow is busy brainstorming at their mall HQ. But Surya doesn't want "everyone thinking about everything". He assigns each person to think about a different thing, and shoots Frank down when he offers his opinion on something he wasn't assigned to think about. Frank, whose emotional growth stopped in the third grade, decides to show his concerns about Surya's managment style by drawing a goofy picture of him. He passes the picture around and everyone starts laughing. Everyone exept for Surya, who suddenly looks up and wonders why everyone is snickering and why Frank is hastily ripping up a piece of paper. It's time for the kiosks to open and Aimee makes her one decision of the entire day. She decides she doesn't like the little inflatable octopus that someone put on top of the kiosk. But she can't just take it upon herself to act on something that important. She calls the entire team together so they can vote on whether to keep the octopus. The malls open and Frank is bringing people to Arrow's kiosk left and right. He is a one-man selling machine. But no one seems to know where Surya is. It turns out he's decided he's going to prove what a good salesman he is. So he's out trying to convince people to come to Arrow's Priceline kiosk. Unfortunately, everyone he approaches avoids him like he's a leper. Kinetic runs into a little bit of trouble once they find out that half of the mall shoppers speak Spanish and very little English. Fortunately, Derek and Muna are somewhat fluent in Spanish, but the process of signing people up for the sweepstakes is still slowed considerably. The Donald and The Donald, Jr. meet with the two Priceline executives who were watching Kinetic and Arrow. On Kinetic's side, they sing the praises of Surya and Derek. From Arrow, they were impressed by Frank. The candidates gather in the boardroom to find out the results of the challenge. Trump Daddy asks Surya how he thinks his team did, and then asks Kinetic if Aimee is a good leader or a bad one. Everyone just smiles. No one says a word. Arrow is the winner by having signed up 356 people for the sweepstakes as opposed to Kinetic's 329. Trump calls this a "fairly decisive" victory. One would think that a guy with all that money would be better at Math. As their reward, Arrow will receive private surfing lessons from Pat O'Connell and Lisa Anderson on Santa Montica beach. Afterward, they will have brunch at Gladstone's. At least the rewards are good this season. They were getting kind of lame last season - planting flowers for some charity, being dipped in a shark tank. And all the time, the candidates had to pretend like they were having fun. It's like Trump hated all of them. Everyone except for Stefani is pretty jazzed about surfing once they get to the beach. Stefani can't swim, so she stays ashore, which is probably what Nicole should have done. Nicole goes way out, trying to get the best waves. One wave turns out to be too big for her and pulls her under. She doesn't drown, but she does wind up hurting her ankle. Tim decides to go with her to the hospital. Surely it is purely out of concern for her well-being. No ulterior motives there. The doctor at the ER tells Nicole her ankle isn't broken. More than likely she was stung by a jellyfish. The rest of Arrow has brunch and congratulate each other on what a super job they did with the last project. Surya is pretty sure he's responsible for the win. But James tells us Surya was merely "lucky" to have been on the project. Back at the mansion that night, Tim and Nicole join the rest of their team in the pool. But everyone else leaves so that they can be alone. It's obvious, but it works. Tim agressively puts the moves on Nicole and they kiss for a long time. The next day, Aimee thinks she has a chance of convincing the rest of Kinetic that Jenn should be fired. She says Jenn knew that half of the mall shoppers were going to be Spanish-speaking, but chose to do nothing about it. I don't think that's enough to convince an entire team that has already agreed to hate her. The Boardroom Kinetic gathers to face Trump, Lil' Trump, and Surya. I haven't notice before the size of Donald Jr.'s ears. They're huge. He's like a Ferengi with hair. Aimee comes out swinging, placing the blame on Derek and Jenn for not telling her that they had been told by mall management that half of the demographic was Spanish-speaking. The Donald points out Aimee should have known that just by "looking around". But the donald doesn't go along with his old man and attacks Derek for not telling Aimee in the first place. Trump gets Aimee to admit to her disgust for the entire team. She decides to take Derek and Jenn back with her to the Boardroom. As soon as Aimee, Derek, and Jenn return to the Boardroom, Minitrump picks up his attack on Derek. At first, Trump Daddy goes along with this line of interrogation, but swings the blame back around on Aimee for not seeing for herself that half of the people in the mall were Spanish-speakers. He fires Aimee. Once the candidates leave the room, Trump directs one of his famous "Agree with me you worthless syncophants" lines to Surya and Trump II, "I don't think I had a choice." Trump the Younger, who had made it pretty clear up to this point that he though Derek should be fired, says, "Yep. It was pretty cut and dry." At least he knows when to back up the old man. Next episode (in two weeks) - A double firing.

Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 5

Episode 5 Original Air Date: February 11, 2007 Sometimes I wonder if Trump even watches his own show. During the narration at the beginning of tonight's episode he says, "Last week, Surya went over to Arrow to help them out of their slump. With Surya on board Arrow was finally able to win a challenge!" Surya - superstar! The only thing Surya was good for during the last challenge was working the drive-thru at Pollo Loco. Any scholastically challenged teenager with a pierced eyebrow can do that. The truth is, if Aaron had listened to Surya about strategy, they very likely would've lost the challenge. Aaron had an opportunity during the last Boardroom as the victorious project manager to let the Trumpster know what's what, but chose not to speak, allowing Surya to look like a savior. He re-joins the rest of his team in the mansion at the beginning of tonight's episode and tells them about his experience at the side of Lord Donald in the Boardroom. He says he didn't say anything because he didn't want to put his "neck out". That may not have been the smart thing to do, since at one point, Trump turned to him and said, "Aaron, why aren't you saying anything? What the [heck's] wrong with you?" Trump meets with Sean, last season's Apprentice, and tells him, "I'm going out of town on business, take care of things while I'm gone." "Leave it to me, sir." Yeah, that wasn't staged. Completely natural. Meanwhile, the apprentice wannabes gather outside in the driveway to await instructions for their next challenge, dressed in their California attire. Trump lets them know that their next task is to gather honey for Sue Bee, package it, and sell as much of it as they can in supermarkets. He tells the kids that he's going to be gone for a little bit, but they should be real good and listen to Sean, or no cookies when he gets back. Then he hops in his limo and rides away. For no other reason than it makes good TV, part of this task involves going to a bee farm (bee ranch?) and gathering honey from inside the hives. Poor Stefani from Arrow nearly hyperventilates from fear of being stung through her protective suit. Frank isn't making it any better for her. "Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing right now? There a lot of bees... Guys, are more and more bees coming at us as the seconds go on?" "Frankie, shut up!" But no one from Arrow gets stung in the end (or in the front, for that matter). As one of Stefani's team mates says, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" "No. Bees are my friends." That experience was probably a lot more fun than the rest of Arrow is having during their brainstorming session back at HQ. Aaron, Surya, and James are meeting to form some kind of packaging strategy. Surya is ranting on and on like the Energizer Bunny on Speed while Aaron and James look bored out of their minds. He says the packaging on the honey should emphasize its "versatility" and give the consumers "reason to believe". Versatility? It's honey, for crying out loud? Who goes to the grocery store looking for versatile honey? "Look dear, you can spread this honey on your toast, or use it remove tough stains! It's an all-in-one condiment, stain remover, and nasal decongestant!" "I still like the one in the bottle shaped like a little bear better." Surya tells us that he is a branding manager and he spends every Friday morning in a three-hour packaging meeting. He must be the reason those meetings last three hours. His co-workers back at his old company are probably glad at this point to get a break from the noise. Sean is quietly sitting in a back corner of the room, observing the meeting. He writes in his notes of Surya, "Overcomplicating the brainstorming." James tells us, "[Surya] uses a lot of business jargon, and sometimes I want to say, 'Surya, can you please say that in English, because none of us can understand you." James tries to break it down during the meeting, "This is about making money. Let's go sell it, make as much money as we can." "Revenue maximization," Surya says. James looks over, "You mean 'making money'?" Members of Kinetic make their way to the bee farm to harvest some honey. Derek gets stung repeatedly through his protective beekeeper suit. Afterward, he and his team mates arrive at HQ to find that Jen and Project Manager Aimee haven't even come up with a name for their new honey yet, and so had to hold off on the rest of the marketing. For some reason, this upsets the rest of the team. They had the unreasonable expectation that Aimee and Jen should be able to think up a name and a marketing campaign in four hours. Aimee tells the group that one name they came up with was "Homemaker Honey", with the motto, "Be more, do more!" It's honey, people! It's not going to help you clean your house any faster. Fortunately, the rest of the team nixes that idea and decides just to go with the name "Bee More". The second part of the task is working the assembly line at the Sue Bee packaging plant. Tim, from Arrow, has one job for this portion of the task - watch the bottles as they are filled with honey to make sure that every bottle is filled. This turns out to be a little too complicated for Tim and he begins to re-enact that episode of I Love Lucy when she tries to package creme pies as they come off an assembly line. Tim ends up stopping the line several times. As Frank explains, "They don't have honey packaging courses at Harvard." The next day the teams descend on their respective stores to sell honey. Project Manager Aimee has no strategy for Kinetic, and ends up wandering aimlessly around the store herself. The rest of her team pick up the slack and scamper around trying to get everything set up. Muna and Derek go find the truck that still has the honey and unload it into the store, then stock the shelves. Angela hurries to put up a large banner in front of the store. In the mean time, Aimee is thinking about making coffee. Things get off to a very slow start. At one point, Derek decides to put his beekeeper suit on and try to get some "buzz" going about the honey that way. Later the team decides to exploit Angela's status as a sports celebrity. Kristine gets on the loudspeaker and announces that there is an olympic gold medalist near the honey aisle. Arrow, on the other hand, is pumped and ready to go from the beginning. Tim and Nicole eventually break off to try to make some bulk sales. Tim is very excited about working with Nicole. He admits to us that he is attracted to her. She doesn't look like she shares the attraction when he touches her leg in the van. But who knows. They hit some gas stations and other stores, but don't make any sales. Meanwhile, back at the store, Stefani is getting tired of watching Aaron stand around. So she gives him a tray of samples and tells him to go sell. Tim takes his tray to another part of the store and ends up standing around there. Sean asks James about Aaron's management style. James, with his limited vocabulary, can only describe it as "laid back". Arrow and Kinetic gather at the end of the day with Sean in the Boardroom to go over results. Sean says that Mr. Trump is waiting for his call. In the next shot is The Donald giving a sales motivational speech to a group of 20,000 people in Minnesota. I didn't know there were 20,000 sales people in Minnesota. Maybe they aren't all sales people, but they just came in to the stadium to get warm, or because there's nothing else to do up there. Anyway, Sean reads off the results of the task. Arrow sold around 217 bottles for a total of approximately $775. Kinetic sold 345 bottles for about $836. Kinetic sold 59% more bottles for only about 8% more revenue. Somebody goofed on the price point. Either Arrow charged too much (not likely, since they were selling two for the price of one), or Kinetic didn't charge enough. But it doesn't matter, not for Kinetic at least. They win regardless and are told they will get to attend a Lakers' training session and play with the players. They will also get to meet coach Phil Jackson and Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Arrow has to go back to the tents. Surya knows his neck is on the chopping block, based on popularity alone. So he leans over the hedge to consult with Wilson, I mean Derek (his former team mate), who is lounging by the pool. Derek then walks over to Aimee and asks her to fight for Surya in the Boardroom. She agrees. The Boardroom Arrow is divided about whom should be fired. There really is no one to blame except for Aaron, for no other reason than he was project manager. Predictably, half the team thinks Surya should be fired. Surya is completely useless, but that also makes him harmless. He neither hurt nor helped the team in this project. Aimee comes out swinging in defense of Surya and asks some really tough questions which lay the blame on Aaron's shoulders. Trump isn't so sure he likes that, since she almost got fired herself a couple of weeks ago. Both Trump and Sean criticize Aaron for not speaking up during the last Boardroom. Trump asks Tim if he would fire Nicole. Tim, of course, says he wouldn't. Then Frank jumps in with all the maturity of an eight-year-old, and says, "Ask him if he would marry Nicole!" I almost expect Frank to break out in a chorus of "Tim and Nicole Sitting In a Tree." Trump can't help himself and asks Tim if he would marry Nicole. Tim asks, "Would you marry Nicole?" Trump responds that Tim would be his hero if he could get Nicole to marry him. It comes time for Aaron to choose whom to bring with him to the Boardroom, and he chooses Surya and Nicole, but adds that he would not fire Nicole. Trump is surprised he's bringing Nicole back with him. She seems pretty safe tonight. The three come back into the Boardroom, and Aimee once again does a great job of laying the blame on Aaron. "What is your specialty?" she asks. "Sales." "Sales was very weak on this task. Don't you think if you spent more time selling you could've helped your team win?" Trump and Sean agree that sales was to blame for Arrow's failure. Aaron is fired. As Surya gets up to leave, he asks The Donald, "Can I just say one thing?" "Just go!" Trump tells him, "You just made it by the skin of your [butt], anyway." That doesn't stop him from venting to Nicole after they leave the mansion. He goes on about how he can't believe Aaron lied in the Boardroom and said Surya was in charge of marketing. He's still going on about it as they reach the tents. Next week - Surya goes a little psycho. Tim and Nicole kiss by the pool (which must also mean that Arrow wins the next challenge).