Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 1

Episode 1 Original Air Date: October 2, 2006 Lorenzo Borghese, cosmetic heir, founder of several profitable corporations, and real-life prince. It may seem like this season's bachelor would have no problems, but that's not the case as Prince Lorenzo explains to the camera during the first segment, "I never ever introduce myself as Prince Lorenzo Borghese. I'm always Lorenzo. The only time that people find out that I'm a prince is when my friends are around and they're trying to pick up girls. They'll introduce me... 'Do you know who that is? That's Prince Lorenzo Borghese.' And then I know my night is ruined." As he says this, I'm sure male viewers everywhere are thinking, "There but for the Grace of God, go I." Why is it that no one ever featured on the Bachelor seems like they'd have trouble getting a date in real life? Are the rest of us supposed to sympathize with these people? On the other hand, it probably wouldn't really be worth it for the bachelorettes to go through this several week ordeal just to end up with Joe Bob the plumber. Speaking of the bachelorettes, we first meet Erica, a 23-year-old "socialite". (Being a socialite seems like a pretty good business to get into. I wonder how one gets into it?) "I wasn't that surprised about being on the show," she tells us humbly, "I thought they'd be crazy not to pick me." So as to remind us further how much our lives suck in comparison to these people, we are shown Erica wafting through her family's mansion with her mother and housekeeper toward her huge walk-in closet to pick out the clothes she'll wear to Rome. "You may not want to bring furs," her mom says thoughtfully, "because of animal rights." Erica tells us it would be her "dream come true" to be a real princess. Yep, that would be a true riches-to-even-more-riches story, the kind of magic that fairy tales are made of. "I really hope he's not one of those guys to fall for the girl off the farm," she says. Speaking of 'the girl off the farm', we are next introduced to Jami, a 27-year-old event planner. She does live on a farm in Texas. Though she is from a small town, Jami tells us she is "eight million percent princess material". Let's hope princesses don't have to be good at math. We meet several of the other contestants, most of whom are in their 20's. Lorenzo is 34. I wonder if they ask the Bachelor beforehand which age group he prefers to date? Next, host Chris Harrison sits down with His Princeliness to ask him some questions about himself. It turns out Lorenzo has his royal title thanks to a 17th century pope who was also a Borghese, and may have owned the mansion/castle which is the location of this season's Bachelor. One of that pope's official acts was to extend royal titles to the folks back home. Lorenzo was born in Italy and moved to the U.S. when he was two years old. When asked how well he speaks Italian, His Worship responds that he speaks "menu Italian", or just good enough Italian to get by in a restaurant. Wasn't that just fascinating? As Lorenzo meets each of bachelorettes one-by-one as they come out of the limosine, he seems genuinely nervous. That's kind of endearing. Maybe I won't hate him as much as I thought I would. By the way, do we actually have to watch him greet ever single bachelorette? There's 25 of them! It goes on for so long they have to put a commercial break in the middle of the whole meet-and-greet. The last girl files into the mansion and the party begins. Socialite Erica reflects on the competition, "The first four girls I met had tatoos, and only half of them went to college. I'm not going to go so far as to say I'm the most compatible, but from what I'm seeing, I'm definately in the top three." At least she's humble. Lorenzo sits down with Erica to thank her for coming all the way to Rome. She tells him he's worth it. Then, to bring home the point, she says, "Yeah, I flew coach for you, which I've never done. You should be honored." I'm sure he's very moved by her sacrifice. Rosella, a 27-year-old make-up artist, tells the other girls she had to sell her car 'to be here'. A Chicago Italian girl from the block, Rosella tells us she didn't have the money for the gowns and other bachelorette accoutrements. She said she did it because she is sure she's going to be a princess. "It's my destiny," she says. It better be. If she doesn't win, she'll be without a man and a car. Desiree, a 22-year-old hoochie realtor, grabs Lorenzo away from two other women and pulls him outside. She then proceeds to chat him up, ending every sentence with "Baby". "You're definately handsome, Baby." "Oh yeah, I bought this [her dress] in Las Vegas, Baby." It's like watching an Austin Powers movie. Figuring she just hasn't skanked it up enough for Lorenzo, Desiree asks, "You want me to shake it for you, Baby?" Lorenzo is only too happy to see Desiree 'shake it'. She obliges with a wiggly little dance right in front of him. Her approach apparently works. Lorenzo later confesses to the camera that he thought Desiree was the life of the party. "Even though there were 25 girls," he says, "my attention was totally focused on Desiree." Lisa, a 25-year-old marketing manager, sits Lorenzo down and tells him how she's "like, a normal girl, and like, a tree-hugger in cognito." She later clarifies for us, "Yeah, like, I'll lick a slug, hug a tree, whatever." Lorenzo points out the nice trees on the property and suggests they go hug one. Sure enough, the two go out and hug one of the trees. If I were that tree, I'd be weirded out. 34-year-old registered nurse, Heather, gets drunk in the course of the night. 25-year-old Jessica points out how Heather is setting a bad example as "an older woman". There's nothing worse than a drunken granny. At one point while Lorenzo is outside talking to two of the women, Andrea comes out on the balcony and starts singing in an operatic voice. Smart move. Nothing turns a guy on like an opera singer. The other girls are not impressed. Chris comes out and announces that there are two more bachelorettes to join the group. Only these new ladies are truly Italian. Panic sets in amongst the herd. To make things worse, one of the Italian hotties, Cosetta, is a professional dancer. The way she "shakes it" makes Desiree look like a Quaker. The other Italian girl was not happy with Cosetta's little dance. "The other Italian girl, I couldn't believe it. She is like a joke. I am jealous." There is one special rose that comes with a pair of diamond earrings. Lorenzo is supposed to give this rose to the one girl he especially 'wants to get to know better'. His Highness makes his decision before the night is over. To Lorenzo's credit, he walks past all the hoochies and gives the rose to tree-hugger Lisa. It never seemed like Lisa was trying to seduce or impress Lorenzo. Instead, she came across as being herself. It worked. Good for her. Finally, the sun comes up and it's time for the rose ceremony. These people have been partying all night long, and yet they look as fresh and shiny as when the night started. There must be an army of make-up people on duty at the Bachelor mansion. Anyway, only eleven of the 27 women will receive roses. Among those chosen: farm girl Jami, dancing queen Desiree, poor little rich girl Erica, and jealous Italiana Aniase (Anyase? Anyasay? They never spell her name out on the show and she's not listed on the Bachelor website as of this writing.). Aniase (Onyase?, Eniase?) can't speak much English, but that's OK. There's always the "international language". Among those going home: dancing Italiana Cosetta, "older woman" and lush Heather, opera singer Andrea, and girl-without-a-car Rosella. Next week - One of the girls goes all Fatal Attraction on Lorenzo. Coming up this season - Helicopter rides, scooter rides, horse-drawn carriage rides, boat rides, and Lorenzo cries. As the closing credits roll, Erica tells us she's so used to having a maid, that she doesn't know how to make a bed. This will be a challenge for her as she bunks with eleven other girls. In college, she had to pay her roommate to make her bed and clean up after her. Really, who can't relate to that?