Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 2

Episode 2 Original Air Date: October 9, 2006 It's the first day after the party and host Chris Harrison gathers the herd outside the mansion. He informs them that two group dates will take place in the next couple of days, followed by a rose ceremony. Whoever doesn't receive a rose at that ceremony, he tells them, will be going home. All the girls ooh and ahh like they've never seen the show before. Chris also informs the girls that since tree-hugger Lisa received the special rose during the party, she will get to go on the first one-on-one date with Lorenzo. Poor little rich girl Erica lets us know she is "really annoyed" that Lisa won that privilege. "All she had to do to get it is run around and hug some trees." Maybe Erica ought to remind Lorenzo how she had to fly coach all the way to Rome. Incidentally, Erica wore an actual tiara to the overnight party, and today she's still wearing it. I wonder if she sleeps with it. The girls open the "Date Box" and find out that Erica, Jami, Ellen, Sadie, and Agnese will be going on the first group date. On my last post, I guessed six different ways to spell "Agnese" (pronounced On-yay'-say) and none of those guesses were correct. Speaking of Agnese, our Italiana piccante, she tell us, "I'm not speak a lot english. I don't understand anything, and the first day that we are at home, we are all twelve girl together." Then, she gives us her impression of her fellow Bachelorettes, "It's hard living with American girls. They are crazy. Really crazy." All of the American men who are watching at this moment can be heard to say, "Yeah, tell me about it!" Later, Erica takes Chris Harrison aside to complain about the dismal living conditions she's being subjected to in the house, "I just, like, don't want to live in a room with three other girls. My room at home is like ten times that size. And, I don't see any maids." "There are no maids," Chris tells her. "That's rediculous. But can I hire one of the other girls to be my maid?" I can see the other girls just lining up for that opportunity. To Chris' credit, he somehow keeps from laughing in Erica's face the whole time, though it looks like he's trying really hard to hold back a chuckle. Instead, he tells her that she'll have to deal with it and hopefully come to think that Lorenzo is worth it. Wow, first this girl has to fly coach, and now she has to make her own bed! I sure hope Lorenzo appreciates all the sacrifices she's making for him. Finally, His Eminence Prince Lorenzo arrives to pick the girls up for the group date. Lorenzo asks them, "Do you know I've never been on a date with five women before?" It's uncanny. This is yet another thing Prince Lorenzo and I have in common. No, wait, that's the only thing he and I have in common. The first stop for Lorenzo and his fly girls is the Colliseum. While there, Lorenzo takes Agnese aside for a brief moment of quality time. Erica tells us, "The Italian girl's name is Agnes, or like Agnassy, or like something really weird like that. I'm very indifferent towards her, because she really barely speaks english, like at all." I guess like, Agnase's not like, totally eloquent in like, english like Erica is. His Loftiness tells us, "My only concern with Agnese is that there might be a communication barrier." Spoken like a man who's never been married. Only a single guy would see a disadvantage in dating a woman who is limited in how much she could talk to him. The next part of the date has the group riding through Rome on motor scooters. Erica claims her license is "expired" and jumps on the back of Lorenzo's scooter to ride with him. Before we have a chance to be impressed by her cunning, however, Erica chooses to use this opportunity to tell Lorenzo about every single guy she has ever dated. Smooth move. Men love to hear all about a woman's romantic history while he's on a date with her. The group date ends that evening with a cocktail party. First, Lorenzo leads the ladies to a room full of dresses and tells them they can choose whatever dress they want. Later, the girls make sure to express their gratitude to Lorenzo for the dresses, as if he paid for them himself. During the cocktail party, Erica pulls Lorenzo to the side for a private conversation. During their chat, she mentions that Jami wouldn't be a good match for him since she didn't go to college. Lorenzo says that doesn't matter to him. All that matters is if the person "has a good heart, and they're fun." He forgot to mention good-looking. Erica counters that "a lot of people have good hearts", but she likes to be able to "have, like, a nice conversation" with a person. Yeah, it's easy to imagine Erica conversing eloquently on topics such as great literature and foreign policy. However, Lorenzo tells her, "You can't judge somebody because they haven't had what you had." "I do judge," she says. The conversation ends poorly. Later, in tears, Erica tells us how Lorenzo made her feel bad for judging others since he's been even more privileged than she has and yet he doesn't judge. How dare Lorenzo judge Erica for judging others! But, maybe Erica's been humbled a little. She says, "I'm probably going home without getting a rose and some other girl will be and it's not fair because they don't deserve it." Then again, maybe not. In contrast, Lorenzo later goes on to have what appears to be an actual grown-up conversation with Sadie. His Singleness thoroughly enjoys this conversation, and as a result, gives the rose to Sadie. Once again, we are treated to more blubbering from Erica, "He must not really want a true princess, because I am a true princess. And like, it doesn't matter that I've been raised to be one, because he could care less." Thoughtless Lorenzo! How dare he care about such shallow things as character and personality! For God's sake, man, the woman owns a tiara! The next day Lorenzo is on his one-on-one date with Lisa. Lisa has a "Love Plan" - she has her entire future lovelife charted out on a timeline, what age she'll be when she gets married, when she'll have kids and how many, and so on. She hasn't shared her plan with Lorenzo yet. At one point in the conversation, Lorenzo begins to talk about what a shame it is that some people get married only because it fits their "timeline". Instead, he says, when someone gets married it should be about love, not timing. Lisa decides now may not be the best time to tell Lorenzo about the Love Plan. The date ends that evening with Lorenzo giving Lisa a rose. Meanwhile, at the house, the girls are chatting about girlie things. When put on the spot, Sadie reveals that she is "saving herself" for marriage. Of course, the hoochies in the room are amazed, as if it never occurred to them that option was available. Sadie later tells us that she hopes the other girls don't tell Lorenzo about her choice. Surely she can trust the other girls. Anyone who has seen The Bachelor knows the bachelorettes would never use personal information against each other. The next day, the rest of the girls get to have their group date with Lorenzo. Lorenzo comes by helicopter to whisk them away to a Mediterranean beach. We next get to see Lorenzo frolicking on the beach with six beautiful, bikini-clad women. And they say there's nothing "real" about "reality tv". Before the day is over, Lorenzo gives a rose to Jennifer. This beach has an open bar, and one of the bachelorettes, Kim, takes full advantage of it. Barely able to stand, she tries to give a standard monologue to the camera. What she says probably makes perfect sense to her. In the middle of her monologue she starts to vomit, then tumbles over into one of the guys on the film crew. She later passes out on one of the lounge chairs. After Lorenzo wakes her, she gives everyone a piece of her mind, "I hate you guys. The [expletive], eh... The lod deb us. I hate you loof. Hate... Have a [expletive]... Blasphemy, that... I planted that last rose and helletz. I hate vodka." Then, after catching another glance of Lorenzo, says, "Oh, I thought that was the waiter." Smooth. The Rose Ceremony. At the mansion, Lorenzo spends one-on-one time with several of the girls, starting with Agnase. During their conversation, Agnase plants a big wet one on Lorenzo's mouth. She may not know much english, but she sure knows how to communicate. Next, Lorenzo talks to Kim, who has sobered up considerably at this point. Kim later tells the camera how she's not embarassed by the incident at the beach, because it was a long day and all she did was to 'close her eyes a little bit'. Uh huh, and Bill Clinton never inhaled. She tries to explain herself to Lorenzo, who concludes, "No harm done." Later, Lisa starts to walk outside with Lorenzo. As they pass Ellen and Sadie, Lisa says, "Don't talk crap about me, Ellen." "We don't talk crap." "Yeah," Lisa chuckles, "those two talk crap? Never." The girls are very upset that Lisa would make a comment like that in front of Lorenzo. At one point, Jami and Desiree decide to go visit Lorenzo's bedroom and snoop around. They look through everything, including the man's underwear drawer. Lorenzo eventually comes in and finds them on his bed. Understandibly, he's shocked and appalled at the girls' immodesty and their flagrant disregard for his privacy. Yeah, right. He tells us that finding those girls was a "dream come true" and proceeds to join them. Meanwhile, Ellen and the other girls confront Lisa about her comment. Lisa claims not to know what they're talking about and starts crying. The entire herd eventually migrate up to Lorenzo's room and start a dance party. Once again, Kim appears to "fall asleep". It seems like getting to be a contestant on this show would be worth it, just on account of all the free liquor. Finally, the time comes for Lorenzo to hand out the roses. Among those picked is poor little rich girl Erica. She assures Lorenzo, "You made a good decision." ...even if she does say so. Those going home are Ellen, Sarah, and boozer Kim. Next week - Four "fantastic" dates, the girls compete for a $2,000,000 necklace, and Erica "loses her mind" (you mean she's been sane so far)?