Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 4

Episode 4 Original Air Date: October 23, 2006 Prince Lorenzo's stable is down to six phillies and it's time for him to cull the herd a little more. After tonight's episode, the girls that remain will have the pressure privelege of introducing His Dimpledness to their parents. So choose wisely, Your Worship, choose wisely. Host Chris Harrison tells the girls that this week two of the girls will be going one-on-one with Lorenzo while the rest apply the full-court press on a group date. How will those two fortunate girls who get some special alone time with His Princeliness be chosen? All of the girls must answer two questions. Their answers will be judged and the winners will receive the one-on-one dates. The two questions are: Who is the least deserving to be a princess? Who is the least sincere? These questions are especially difficult because, as we all know, women on The Bachelor just hate to bad-mouth each other. Of course, the person chosen to judge the answers to these questions would need to be mature, level-headed, and insightful. So logically, Crazy Little Rich Girl Erica, who got the boot last episode, is brought back to judge. But the girls don't find this out until after they've answered the questions. Since Erica has had time to reflect on her experience on the show, maybe she's been humbled a little and has come to realize that what is important is not a person's station in life, but rather what's on the inside. Maybe she's come to see that she needs to focus on the quality of her own character and not care so much about superficial and material things. Or not. As she walks into the door of the cottage, the first thing she says is, "What's up, bi***es?" That's one classy, classy lady. Later, Erica tells us the reason she's qualified to judge who's worthy of Prince Lorenzo's company is that she is a "real princess". Then she adjusts her tiara. One of these days she needs to tell us which royal family in Galveston she is descended from. During this confessional, she says that "Agneezy" will definately not be getting a one-on-one date. This is the closest she's come to pronouncing Agnese's name (pronounced On-yay'-say) correctly. Enough about Erica, back to the girls' answers to the two probing questions listed above. Though the girls answer individually in front of a camera in a private room, they all agree that Lisa is the least deserving of Lorenzo's hand. The consensus seems to be that she is a fake and a backstabber. But I think she's just guilty of being Lorenzo's early favorite and then maybe rubbing it in the other girls' faces a little. Lisa, on the other hand, believes that Jennifer is the least deserving and least sincere, and then adds, "she's not that pretty without makeup". Hey, some old barns need painting. There's no shame in that. Cute little virgin Sadie stands alone in this contest. Though she also believes that Lisa is the least deserving, she breaks down in tears because she hates speaking badly of another person. Erica seems moved by this. As Erica says her latest goodbye to the girls, Chris tells them that they will have to wait until the date boxes arrive to find out whom she chose for the one-on-one dates. The first date box arrives and it reveals that Sadie will get to go on the first one-on-one. The first thing Lorenzo does on the date is to take Sadie up in a little private plane. Sadie is turned on as she watches His Grace pilot the plane. (Big show-off). Lorenzo even lets Sadie take the controls for a while. Later, they spend some quality time in a thermal hot tub while drinking champagne. This is shocking, as it is a full 15 minutes into the episode before someone is shown drinking alcohol. This must be some kind of record for The Bachelor. While in the hot tub, Lorenzo gets flirty with Sadie, so she thinks he's going to try to kiss her. That turns out to be wishful thinking as they eventually leave the tub without so much as a peck. But the night is young. Meanwhile, the basket for the group date arrives back at the house. Desiree, Agnese, Jeannette, and Lisa will be going on this one. All the girls either scream or jump up and down as their names are read off. I've never seen four girls so happy about being forced to share a guy. Jennifer, the one who's supposedly not that pretty without makeup, will get to go on the other one-on-one date. Oddly enough, she seems the most sedate. Later, Lisa tells us what she really thinks, "Going on a group date sucks. I didn't come here to make best friends." Well, judging from the other girls' earlier answers to those questions, she certainly doesn't have to worry about that. Back on the one-on-one, the couple is having a romantic rooftop dinner. Sadie is trying to convince Lorenzo that he really wants to kiss her. The conversation goes something like this: "Don't bother denying it. I know you want to kiss me." "I do? I mean, what makes you think..." "Because!" "Because why?" "I see that look in your eye!" "What look? I don't..." "You want to kiss me, dang it! Stop arguing with me!" I may have paraphrased some of that conversation. I may have made some of it up entirely. It doesn't matter. What matters is His Smoochiness is only too happy to give in and apply his face to Sadie's. Sadie then gives Lorenzo a T-shirt to motivate him to come to California to meet her folks. Later, Lorenzo gives Sadie a rose, followed by more tongue-wrestling. Eventually it's time for the group date. Lorenzo decides on an all-day toga party at the Roman Acqueducts. The date begins with a series of chariot races. The girl who wins the chariot races will get a wish fulfilled by Lorenzo. Jeanette eventually comes out victorious and thus wins the wish (which she doesn't decide on right away). None of this makes any sense since the girls don't actually drive the chariots, but just ride along as passengers as trained toga proffesionals do all the work. Later the toga party adjourns to a pool where, of course, there's booze. Lorenzo reveals to the girls that there is no rose on this date, so everyone should just focus on having fun. He later sets the example by tackling Desiree and tumbling with her into the pool. Everyone else joins them in the pool, togas and all. As fortune would have it, there just so happens to be cameras situated under water so that we are not spared any shot of the girls in wet togas. It's funny how these things work out. After awhile, Italian hottie Agnese pulls Lorenzo to the side. She tells him she was jealous that Sadie got to go on the one-on-one date. She wishes she could "spend all the time" with Lorenzo. Lorenzo asks her if the language barrier would make it awkward for her parents if she brought him home to meet them. Not to worry, she assures him, she has an Italian-English dictionary! Again, being a single guy, Lorenzo doesn't see how the language barrier makes Agnese perfect for him. Not only would his wife not try to talk to him while he's watching TV, but he would never have to listen to his in-laws! Jeanette, the winner of the wish, also pulls him aside. She wants him to know that she "really, really" likes him, as opposed to those other girls who probably only like him with one "really". Jeannette tells Lorenzo that every glance or look she gets from him means so much to her. Well, why wouldn't she be so madly in love with the guy? After all, she's known him for such a long time at this point. Jeannette also tells Lorenzo that since he usually seems so stressed at the Rose Ceremonies, that her wish is for him to relax and enjoy this moment. Lorenzo confides to us that he thought that choice for her wish was a "cop-out". But, he admits he's "intrigued" by Jeanette and wants to get to know her better. That must mean he's going to Bloomington, IL (her hometown)! Who wouldn't be excited about going to Bloomington? I mean, besides everybody. The time for the one-on-one date with Jennifer rolls around. Lorenzo takes her on a carriage ride through Rome, culminating in a dinner on a rooftop overlooking the Vatican. They have some light conversation, and Jennifer bashfully giggles through a lot of it. She seems like a sincere, sweet kid who doesn't have a clue about or any desire to flirt. It's a wonder she hasn't gotten trampled by the hussies who share the house with her. Meanwhile back at the house, while Jeanette tries to give her confessional to the camera, Desiree and Lisa run through the background naked. They say they just wanted to relieve some stress. It seems like they just wanted to relieve themselves of their own clothes. Shockingly, they had been drinking shortly before this incident. Back at the rooftop in Rome, Lorenzo and Jennifer are holding hands while telling each other how their parents met. Lorenzo believes "there's only one person for each person. And for that reason..." He then hands her the rose. That means he's going to Miami (her hometown). Miami is nice, but it's no Bloomington. Later, Lorenzo takes Jennifer to the Trevi Fountain. He tells her to toss in some gold coins, which he had provided her for the occasion, and make a wish. Big deal. You can do that in almost any shopping mall in North America. Of course, the fountains in the shopping malls here aren't over 250 years old, but I bet the Trevi Fountain doesn't have a food court right next to it. Lorenzo takes this opportunity to plant a big wet one on Jennifer. That Lorenzo, he's so shy. It's the night of the Rose Ceremony and there are just two roses to give to the four remaining girls, Desiree, Lisa, Jeanette, and Agnese (remember, Sadie and Jennifer already received their roses). Each of the four girls pulls Lorenzo aside to profess undying love for him. You would expect Jeannette would try to sell Lorenzo by emphasizing the fact that she's from Bloomington. Surprisingly, she doesn't take that route. Host Chris Harrison arrives and announces it's time for Lorenzo to make his choices. He gives a rose to Lisa, then another to Agnese. That means Desiree and Jeannette are going home. Apparently, the allure of Bloomington just wasn't enough for Lorenzo to pick Jeanette. During her tearful confession to the camera, Desiree calls Lisa a "dumb girl who is just here to play the game" and says that Agnese is probably only here out of curiosity. She doesn't think either of them truly have feelings for Lorenzo. This has to be the dumbest thing said by anyone on The Bachelor, yet it's repeated every season by almost every bachelorette. Look, no one truly has feelings for the bachelor at this point. For crying out loud, they've known the guy for maybe two weeks, maybe a little more. In that time, they've had to share him with several other women, most of whom he's kissed. Sure, most of these girls probably think they have feelings for him. But they are more likely in love with the idea of being in love. Besides that, they are probably heavily influenced by the fact that all of these other women also want the same man. Not to generalize, but one thing that makes a man attractive to a woman is the knowledge that other women also find the man attractive. Of course, all that alcohol probably helps, too. For those reasons, The Bachelor is one of the most rediculous shows ever to be broadcast on television. Maybe that's why I love to watch. Next week - Meet the parents (all eight of them). Erica comes back to give her thoughts on the remaining girls (finally, the Voice of Reason).