Episode Recap: Cook Islands - Week 13

Episode: Arranging a Hit Original Air Date: December 7, 2006 It's Day 31 and Parvati is still incensed at Jonathan. She would like to take his head off, so she decides to practice on some coconuts with a machete. Unfortunately, she misses the coconut at one point and splits her thumb open instead. The Survivor medical team are called on to the scene and deliver the bad news - though she will only need a stitch to keep the thumb together, they'll have to amputate the nail. "No!" she screams, "not the nail! Oh God, why me?! If I can't keep the nail, just let me die!" ...Ok, maybe that's not exactly what she said. The medics remove her nail and and stitch her up right there on the beach. Parvati isn't getting off the island that easy. Half a thumb or not, she's just going to have get voted off like everyone else. She's actually very brave through the whole thing, but, alas, no lollipop. Convoluted Rewards Challenge - The castaways each receive a surprise this week in the form of a visit from a family member. The family members are paraded out soon after the castaways arrive at the challenge site. Yes, shockingly, there are people who are actually willing to admit to being related to these losers. Jeff tells the castaways that their loved ones will even get to compete with them during the challenge. In the challenge, each castaway is blindfolded and must use a bucket to gather water from the ocean. Then they are to toss the water to their loved ones, who will try to catch the water in his or her own bucket, then dump it into a bigger bucket. Once there is enough water in the big bucket, a flag will raise. The first castaway whose flag is raised will get to spend time with their loved one on another island while partaking in a "spectacular picnic" of fried chicken, meatloaf, and apple pie. ("Spectacular" is a relative term when you've been living off of stewed octopus for 30 days.) Tossing water from a bucket while blindfolded to someone else to catch with another bucket is as hard as it sounds. While Ozzy and his mom get off to a good start, Becky ends up throwing more water on her poor sister than into the bucket. Jonathan and The Little Woman gain an early lead, thanks to his wife getting the bright idea of wringing out her blouse, then her hair, into the bucket. But in the end it is Thumb Girl and her dad who win the challenge, just barely edging out Jonathan and Mrs. Rat. As a reward, Parvati gets to choose which of the other castaways will be sent to Exile Island. Hmm... who will it be? Is there anyone Parvati has the slightest bit of hard feelings towards, anyone at all? Lo and behold, she chooses Jonathan, of all people. Who would've guessed? He's shipped off to Exile Island. But first he stops to stick his tongue down his wife's throat. He must have not wanted to be outdone by Adam's makeout goodbye with Candice. As another part of the reward, Parvati's dad gets to choose two other castaways and their loved ones to join him and Parvati on the "Spectacular Picnic" - the Picnic Extravaganza, the Picnic to End All Picnics. (It sounds like a commercial for a car dealership) But Parvati and the other castaways are not allowed to coach him at all as he chooses whom to bring. Still, he picks out Adam and Adam's dad, as well as Sundra and Sundra's mom. Mitiaro Island - the site of the the Ultimate Picnic Extreme! The three castaways and their loved ones are greeted by a large group of local villagers who take them to a "sacred cave", where they take part in an annual ceremony which involves sprinkling some anointing oil in the cave's pool of fresh water, then jumping into the pool. After the castaways and their folks jump in, all of the villagers join them. This is what people do when they have no Playstation. After the dip in the cave, the castaways are finally brought to the Greatest Picnic of All Time, where they are treated to exotic South Pacific delicacies such as fried chicken, corn-on-the-cob, and biscuits. There must be a KFC on the island somewhere. Day 32 - Ozzy, who has whined about being the sole Provider of Nourishment since the beginning of the show, is concerned that he's helping Parvati and Adam win challenges by providing them with food. (For the Love of God, let it go, Ozzy!) He convinces Yul and Becky that they should actually hide the food they gather. They start off by tossing their coconuts into the woods before the others get back from the Incredible Picnic Experience (now it sounds like a theme park ride). They are put to shame, however, when the others do return and start sharing a ton of food they brought back from the picnic. Parvati and Adam then try to take advantage of this time without Jonathan to convince everyone else how nice it would be without him. The Convoluted Immunity Challenge - Jonathan returns from Exile Island, smiles broadly, and greets everyone with an enthusiastic "Hi, Guys!" An Arctic breeze blows by as he gets one chilly response from everyone else, including the other members of his own alliance. I'm not sure, but I think it starts to snow on the Island. The challenge is once again so ridiculously complicated that I lack the will to describe it in detail. But it basically involves a floating obstacle course, tying a bunch of sticks together to make a pole, and trying to reach some rings. Ozzy, or as he's known back home, Lord of the Apes, runs across the top of the water, leaps over the entire obstacle course with a single bound, and wills himself back on the beach before everyone else gets a chance to start. He takes his time on the beach while he assembles his pole, but this is just to tease everyone else into thinking they have a chance. Yul actually seems to almost catch up, but it's for naught. Ozzy assembles his pole and retrieves the rings, winning yet another incredibly stupid challenge. The weather back at camp continues to descend to sub-zero temperatures as everyone seems to be giving Jonathan the silent treatment. Jonathan knows something is up, but no one is telling him anything. He corners Yul, who tells him he will do everything he can to keep him in the game. Later, we see Yul tell Ozzy that he doesn't want either Jonathan or Adam in the final five. Adam tries to convince Yul to have the alliance vote Jonathan off tonight. Yul says he feels like The Godfather, trying to put a hit out on somebody. Tribal Council - The five former castaways who make up the Jury so far file in. Let me tell you, Candice cleans up nice! But I digress. Jeff asks his usual sort of questions that reveal he's been watching the tapes. Adam says that Jonathan has no integrity. Jonathan responds by taking credit for saving several of the remaining castaways from elimination. The votes are cast and counted. One vote after another reads Jonathan's name, except for one that reads "Johnny Blue Eyes" (evidently an example of Ozzy's sharp wit). Jonathan is the fourteenth person voted off of this season's Survivor. Candice mouths the words, "Good job" to Adam. If Billy were still around, he would've thought that Candice was talking to him and mouthing the words, "I want to be the mother of your children." Next week - Adam and Parvati have a plan. Becky and Yul consider turning on Ozzy.